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Newcastle wildman would rather eat his own genitals than play for England

Utterly crazed Newcastle United bad-boy… sorry we should probably be more specific. Joey Barton has again lambasted England, saying that too many players get pant-wettingly hysterical at the idea of playing for IN-GER-LUND! Now his chances of an England recall are probably smaller than Carlton Palmer’s or Earl Barrett’s.

Whilst Toon teammate Mickey Owen is risking his freshly rebuilt sackular region to play for his beloved England, Barton has wildly different feelings on the matter.

Barton, yet to play this season due to one of those metatarsal things, told the Daily Mail:

“If England comes then so be it but I’ve played for them once and that will do for me. I’m more interested in domestic honours.”

Yeah, makes sense. Played for England once and it’s all the same after that, disappointing results followed by a bollocking in the press. Barton continued:

“People get carried away about playing for their country. It’s always nice to be selected and it’s always a privilege and an honour but I’d much rather be successful for Newcastle than I would for England.”

All this is a moot point anyway, as Barton was about as likely to be called up as an old stinky potato wrapped in lettuce. But it will be nice for Geordie fans to hear that at least someone has the club’s interests at heart, Michael.