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Middlesbrough: Crap City, Mediocre Manager, Good Chairman

In news that will surely make signing foreign superstars a tad more difficult, Middlesbrough has just been deemed the worst city in the country but luckily for them their rather average football team and rather average manager has a distinctly above-average chairman who should see the club moving in the right direction which, for Gareth Southgate, means not ‘doing a Tottenham’ on him,

Southgate said: “If things were going wrong, I’m sure Steve Gibson would act as swiftly as he does in his own business, but he is realistic”

Southgate, whose playing career can be summed up in one concise nugget “decent player but obscenely atrocious penalty taker” spoke about his Chairman’s expectations, or lack thereof

“He doesn’t expect us to be a Champions League team in 18 months. That gives you time to plan and get your head above the water.Last year was fire-fighting, trying to fix things as I went along. Only towards the end of the season was it possible to plan ahead. I’ve got more belief in myself now. And the one thing I know here is that no-one inside the club is against me. The whole club is very much united. It was brave of him to appoint a novice and I am still grateful. It’s a strength for us that we have a chairman who comes from the town and who wants to give something back.”

And, apparently, boy does the town need it.