Premier League Gossip and Rumours: Arsenal, Tottenham, Chelsea, Liverpool, Bolton, Newcastle

Posted by’s Mark Apostolou brings daily coverage of the Premier League’s gossip and rumours.

Jose Mourinho to take England post? (various)

Well I am not sure about this one, would Jose take it? Is the pressure worth it, the players will just choke and end up making him a national enemy, either way the current manager, the worst national manager in human history, must be sacked, regardless of qualification!

COS: Jose ain’t that stupid!

Chelsea linked with 20m move for Dutch midfielder Rafael Van der Vaart (The Sun)

The Hamburg player is quality but Avram Grant faces stiff from a collection of sides, including most strongly Serie A champions Inter Milan

COS: Would anyone get on board that sinking ship, not likely, not until a ‘proper’ manager takes over

Luis Figo would apparently consider a move to the States to become the latest aging star to join the MLS (Daily Mirror)

Clearly a man who doesn’t have quite enough money, Figo, 35, looks to make a little bit more cash before the American soccer league edges nearer to going bust…again!

COS: Soccer, i mean football, will never make it in the US, they have far too many other sports to tune in to on the box, whilst consuming far too much saturated fats

Sammy Lee’s gone, so why not speculate about his successor? that’s always amusing.

Bolton chairman Phil Gartside wants Real Sociedad coach Chris Coleman to replace the scouse imp(Daily Mail)

Gartside also wants Steve Bruce. (The Sun)

However the big favourite for the job is Paul Jewell (Daily Star)

Thirty minutes into his ill fated managerial career, Sammy Lee, with headset (what the hell for?), was heard to utter ‘bugger’ as he found his side 3-0 down against the mighty Hammers. Ever since this moment it’s been a not to hidden secret that the former Liverpool man is in fact a worse manager than even Steve McClaren…FACT

COS: Stand back for i shall set you on fire…but before i do, Paul Jewell will take this job and that’s a promise, and he will make Bolton great again, by great we mean top seven and group stages of the UEFA not that great actually!

‘Big’ Sam Allardyce has told mad dog Alan Smith to clean up his act after suspension ruled him out of the Spurs clash on Monday (The Sun)

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

COS: When the former Bolton boss signed up the former Man Utd and Leeds man who is a GBH on legs, what did he think was going to hapen? He should just be thankful that he hasn’t beheaded any officials this season, he did that twice last time around!

Tottenham and Arsenal are both after AS Monaco wonderkid Yohan Mollo (Daily Mail)

Talking of surprises, another young French ‘wonderkid’, likened to Zinedine Zidane, is apparently approached by a Premier League club. Arsenal are said to be the favourites to sign the youngster but that may solely be due to the fact that Arsene Wenger collects French children much like many of us collect pints of beer.

COS: Another baseless rumour from a quality newspaper

Peter Crouch is going nowhere apparently and Rafa Benitez really wants to keep the giant (various)

A whole host of clubs want the gangly striker including Man City and Portsmouth, Crouch is stalling on a new contract as he understandably wants to know if he is only required to come on for the last five minutes of a Carling Cup game before he puts pen to paper.

COS: Crouch will probably not be a Liverpool player much longer, maybe the latest fantasy film in production will hire him as freakish cyclops? failing that Eastlands seems the most likely location for his next home.