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Liverpool Star Banned For Next Match

Rafa’s new best friend Mark Clattenberg is set to have next weekend off so that he can sit watch the Liverpool v Arsenal game from the comfort of his own home.‘Clatts’ (as he’s know to his mates) riled up the Everton fans a bit by stopping just short of high fiving Dirk Kuyt and joining in the goal celebrations.

Although ‘Clatts’ wont be refereeing next week, an referee’s spokesman denied it was anything to do with Saturday’s shenanigans. A pen pusher from the Professional Game Match Officials organisation instead said that :

“All match officials’ performances are constantly monitored and assessed, with subsequent appointments being made on that basis.”

Hmmm, very suspicious.

Meanwhile Dirk Kuyt has umm-ed and ahhh-ed about his tackle, and sort of admitted that it was, well, pretty bloomin’ dirty. Kuyt said: “Maybe I was a bit lucky. I was trying to make a tackle, I did not want to touch him, and I didn’t.”

Back at the Everton HQ, captain Phil Neville was working himself up into a frenzy of impotent rage. Neville told Everton’s official website in a hugely long-winded rant that although Kuyt wasnt a dirty player, his flying ‘leg-breaker’ deserved punishment, and that ref’s need to be a little more consistent and a little less overtly biased. Neville said:

“To be fair to Dirk Kuyt, he’s said it was a bad tackle and he is not a malicious player but the bottom line is that he should have been sent-off. We’ve had instances this season where players have been booked for the most trivial of incidents. But when you see a leg-breaking tackle like that one receive the same punishment that’s when, as players, you get upset. We just want referees to be consistent. We have had officials come into our changing rooms this season and explain the rules. Two feet off the ground is a red card. That’s why the players, the manager and our supporters feel so let down today. This isn’t asking for favouritism. We just want consistency and tackles like that to be outlawed.”