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Anfield Residents Wish Liverpool “Would Get Relegated To The Third Division”

Disgruntled Anfield residents yesterday lashed out at Liverpool, saying that the club don’t give a Harry Kewell about any of their issues. Three residents in particular gave their views on Liverpool; Catherine Farrelly, secretary of Priory area residents association, said:

“I have lived there all my life and I remember when a football match lasted 90 minutes. The fans arrived shortly before, on foot, bikes and buses. After the match finished, they left the area and people got on with their lives. Unfortunately, today it is big business. People are in it to make a fortune and the residents have to pay the price.”

Dr Alastair Walker, of St Domingo Grove, chairman of Stanley Park preservation society, then offered a critique of the architectural designs for Liverpool’s new stadium, implying that a demented myopic chameleon and a drunken gibbon could have done better:

“If any first-year architecture student produced Liverpool’s proposal, he would be given a very low mark. Liverpool’s proposal will not enhance Stanley Park, it will destroy it. It would completely obliterate one-third of the park. It may be the worst possible building for any public park.”

Whilst Lilian Montgomery, gave the strongest indictment of the Liverpool FC cash collosus – saying she hoped that they went into freefall:

“I strongly object to any part of my park being given to a wealthy plc like Liverpool. Whenever Liverpool play at home on a Sunday, it causes my church and four others in the area great inconvenience. I wish they would get relegated to the Third Division.”

I’m sure the Blue neighbours just across the park are seconding all these comments…