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Newcastle’s Big Sam Loses It With Press Goons

Gorilla-sized Newcastle manager Sam Allardyce, the gruff Notherner who speaks as he finds and is no way involved in illegal payments to agents, not at all, was apoplectic with rage yesterday night, screaming denials from the highest peak in the land. The object of his bile and spittle? The Daily Mail of course! They quote Big Sam as saying that all the pressure from the papers is undermining him so much that Newcastle’s results are taking a nosedive. Do the rag tabloids really have so much power, and if they do could the Sun ensure league victory for Derby County if they wrote fluff pieces about the Rams on a daily basis. The media, snide gits who have nothing better to do than tell lies and ruin people’s lives because, like, it’s really fun. Poor Big Sam, he goes about his business turning Newcastle from a deadly dull mid-table Prem team, into world-beaters and the media go and ruin it all. And when quizzed about it, he wasn’t too happy, accusing the assembled journos of shit-stirring.
Allardiced griped:

“Am I angry about the speculation? I am hardly happy about it, am I? The speculative rubbish stirs the s*** up to make your life difficult. I understand that. It is probably more volatile and more unacceptable than I expected here. You don’t speculate about someone taking over someone else’s job when you lose two games on the trot. It goes with the territory, unfortunately.”

Allardyce then pointed out that Newcastle have been total gubbins for the past years, so the fans could be in for a long wait for some success. Big Sam said:

“I still think it will take three to five years to get this club to where I want it to be. I will get that time if I win football matches. That is the bottom line — keep winning and you keep getting there. Over the last three to four years this club has not done much anyway. It is not as if I am starting from getting the club into a position where it was before or used to be when I first started. It is about progress. Some fans want it to be instant but it cannot be. Instant is not sustainable. Instant goes to bankruptcy in business. You have instant success in business then nine times out of 10 that business goes bankrupt. You make instant success in football, nine times out of 10 you fail. I have waved the magic wand before but I’m not so sure I can wave the magic wand as quickly as they would like here.”

He does have a point, the thought that Newcastle should sack him for losing two game is absurd, but don’t go blaming the press Big Sam, it’s your owners you want to worry about. You see, all rumours come from somewhere and these guys are clearly not happy. We for one are supporting you to turn it around, but then as is often posted on this site, we know nothing about proper journalism.