Idiot Of The Week; Manchester United, Newcastle, England

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Each week we’ll be picking some nominess for Idiot Of The Week. Maybe they fell over some training cones, maybe they were photographed with vegetable in their bottom or maybe they’re just your team’s crappest footballer. Whatever the reason, here are our picks and we want to hear yours in the comments.

Idiot A – Wayne Rooney, for falling over some training apparatus, doing his ankle in, and leaving Steve McClaren without his goalscoring prowess – and Wayne was on an absolute roll too, scoring 9 in his last 9. It’s not the injury we have a problem with, just the manner of his injury – one to rival Richard Wright falling on a sign during a pre-match warm up. And if there is one thing that Wayne doesn’t want to do it is ape Richard Wright.

Idiot B – Steve McClaren – for falling to his hands and knees and pleading for his job, exclaiming to the FA Big Wigs – “‘I want to go on. I love this job.” – Eurgh. Pass the sick bag. Do you have no self respect McClaren!?! For God’s sake man…stop blubbering and pull yourself together…Go out with some dignity in tact please! Come on Macca, me old Mucker – sort it out!

Idiot C – Joey Barton – this man is the duracell bunny of all mentalists, he takes any opportunity to make himself look like even more of a psycho in both hands and runs with it like Carl Lewis. This weeks spot of mentalism happened in the Sunderland-Newcastle derby when on half time, instead of traipsing in to get some oranges or a fancy massage – he decided to lunge mid-air for Dickson Etuhu’s crown jewels, and then act as if he was the one who had just been assaulted. Joey, we salute you for your commitment to being an idiot of the week.

So let us know your pick or suggest a new Idiot in the comments.