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Liverpool And Crouch Contemplate Messy Divorce

This is International Break, a time when we are all so starved of decent football that when the Daily Mail threw a gnarled old transfer bone down to us we grabbed it like a ravenous sewer rat.
The Mail is reporting that Peter Crouch could be saying goodbye to Anfield and heading for pastures new come January. The question on everyone’s lips: will they charge by the inch for their freakishly tall striker? The answer? Too bloomin’ right. Rafa and his staff apparently want 15million quid for the lanky goal maestro, but that has scared everyone off, even Man City.
And the Daily Mail didn’t just throw this kind of story out randomly, oh no, they pulled out all the stops to make it believable, even dusting off their most serious sounding pair of words, “Sportsmail Understands” in an attempt to add gravity to this story. In the most believable passage in this article the Dail Mail says:

Sportsmail understands that Crouch is prepared to dig his heels in and see out the remaining 18 months of his contract if Liverpool insist on £15m. It seems likely the club will have to lower their sights to around £10m for a New Year deal to go through.”

And if you haven’t wet your keks enough with this scintillating Anfield rumour fest, the Mail also reckons that Momo Sissoko could have transfer fever too – the only cure being a swift transfer in January.