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Who will be next to try his luck with hapless England?

After Sh*tbreak Steve’s rancid and pathetic excuse for management the question on everybodies lips is just who in the name of Alf Ramsey is going to pick up this shambles and at least turn it into a squad that can qualify for major tournaments and then run out of ideas around the quarter-finals stage – THAT is the England that we know and (slightly) love, not the ramshackle pile of toss that traipsed out against Croatia.
So who are the options to take on the most excerable position in international football? According to the newspaper that always speaks for the nation (sarcasm intended here) The Sun, these are the poor sods being considered options.

MARTIN O’NEILL 7/4

The FA seem reluctant for some reason to appoint O’Neill, but Randy Lerner wouldn’t stand in his way if for some reason he wanted to make himself public enemy number 1. O’Neills man management skills would definitely endear him to the players but his stint at Villa has had the faintest whiff of the emperor’s new clothes, especially if compared to other less likeable Villa bosses.

JOSE MOURINHO 7/2

Mourinho would bring style, panache, and charisma…off the pitch. On the pitch the Special One would attempt to galvanize all the disparate elements and judging what he did with Porto, he would definitely be worth looking at. More pressing than whether the FA would like him is whether Mourinho himself would fancy international management at this time in his career. If he was appointed, press conferences would definitely be livlier than the bore-fests that we’ve become accustomed too. Unlike Scolari, Mourinho also boasts experience in England.

LUIZ FELIPE SCOLARI 5/1

If Phil Scolari gets the chop in Portugal he could skip over to England with Mourinho stepping into his weighty shoes. There is no doubt he would try and add a new dimension to flat, unimaginitive England, but would the players be receptive to his methods seeing as most of them currently have problems putting one foot in front of the other.

GUUS HIDDINK 6/1

Would Guus really ditch Russia and take over with the team that he beat to qualification? But if Hiddink did jump on board England would have a manager who is basically a qualification machine; he got Holland and South Korea to fourth place finishes in two consecutive World Cups, did pretty bloomin’ well with Australia in the last World Cup, and even got Russia in Euro 2008 after McClaren made a right pig’s ear of qualification

ALAN SHEARER 10/1

Hmmm…an interesting one here; and when I say interesting I really mean crap.

SAM ALLARDYCE 25/1

By taking over at the helm Allardyce would finally be able to play Michael Owen before thr little scamp succumbs to inevitable cripplage and limps to his clubs treatment table. And that would probably be the only positive.

So who do you think is the best/most likely replacement for crapper-than-an-old-sailor’s-arse McClaren?