TRANSFER RUMOURS Part 2: Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, England, Aston Villa, Tottenham, Manchester United, Portsmouth, Reading, LA Galaxy.

As promised, here is part two of this steaming rumour pile.

Steven Gerrard is set to leave Liverpool and move to Barcelona with recalcitrant party boy Ronaldinho going the other way. Can I smell he pungent aroma of transfer rumour crap? (The Guardian)

Chelsea’s Michael Essien says he wants to stay with Chelsea forever and ever and ever. (The Sun)

Arsenal’s Emmanuel Adebayour has told Jens Lehmann to stop waffling on about his predicament and to concentrate on playing well and getting back in the Arsenal side. (Telegraph)

ENGLAND GUFF: Man Utd’s Lord of The Ferg wants Mourinho to take the England job, Graeme Le Saux concurs, whilst David Dein reckons that Gerard Houillier would be great! (Various) …Meanwhile, Steve Coppell and Harry Redknapp have both stated their desire to take the England job, whilst remaining smugly confident that the FA won’t be calling them in a month of Sundays. (Daily Mail)

Aston Villa’s Danish defender Martin Laursen is flirting heaving with Spurs, and if contract talks with Martin O’Neill go belly up he’ll leap into Tottenham’s arms. (Daily Mail)

…Whilst fellow Villa defender Olof Mellberg could be swanning off on a free next summer too, Juventus are said to sniffing around the Swede like a pack of lusty bloodhounds. (Mirror)

UEFA Madness Part 2: Aalborg, Tottenham’s opponents tomorrow, have a goalkeeper called Zaza, and he reckons they could shock Spurs and nab all three points…Ok not so much madness and more like mild silliness. (Daily Mail)

The LA Galaxy faithful nearly wet themselves after David Beckham appeared to injure his ankle in some meaningless fart of a game. (The Sun)
…Becks meanwhile is said to be upset that his kids are picking up American accents. (Various)