More Transfer Rumours, More Lies!: Totteham, Blackburn, Manchester United, Rangers and more’s Mark Apostolou brings even more coverage of Premier League transfer bollocks!

The stories relating to a move for recently-crowned Ballon d’Or winner Kaka to the Premier League are gathering pace (various). Now, according to some bored tabloid journalists, the Brazilian is about to be made the subject of record-breaking bids from Arsenal and Liverpool.

Now I don’t know where to start with this one. Simply put, this is high-quality fiction. I would be shocked if either board would sanction such a move. Liverpool are short of funds at present, and whilst Arsenal have money to burn, Arsene Wenger is not the kind of manager to spend money just for the sake of it. More likely Chelsea will aim for the AC Milan star should they fail in their bid for Ronaldinho.

All of this talk comes about due to comments the 25-year-old made recently: “I cannot hide my interest in the Premier League, but I’ve never spoke about it before. It would be great to play in the English League. In England, the stadiums are full and there is always a wonderful atmosphere.” These comments do indeed seem to indicate a willingness to come to England but for some reason I can’t see it happening any time soon. More likely is a move to either Real Madrid or Barcelona.

David Bentley has become very unpopular in recent months after pulling out of the England Under-21 set-up in the summer. Now it appears he could make himself even more unliked as he has apparently become a target for Tottenham (various). Should he be brave enough to move to White Hart Lane no doubt many Arsenal fans and also a fair few Spurs ones will be mightily angry.

However it could be a move that benefits Juande Ramos’s side greatly as the former Gunner has been in fine form recently. Apparently he is keen to press for a regular spot in the full England team and he feels a move from Blackburn Rovers to a bigger club would be beneficial and apparently is keen to move south.

Another rascal from the tabloids has been thinking too hard today but suggesting, just days before the big match, that Sir Alex Ferguson is poised to put in a bid for Liverpool’s Javier Mascherano (various).

Apparently Manchester United are keen to reunite the Argentinian with his ex-West Ham teammate Carlos Tevez, who is also a big target for Inter Milan and Juventus. To me this is another fabrication of the highest order, unless of course, this is a rumour put out by Fergie himself to stew things up before the kick-off on Sunday. It wouldn’t be the first time!

Rangers striker Daniel Cousin has unleashed an outburst on the eve of their crucial match against Lyon (various). The Gabon international said, perhaps unwisely: “The Scottish players like a good drink. What’s more, they put their beer in big glasses here. It’s as if they need it to recharge the machine. There are also chips and pizzas in the dressing room at the end of the match, plus Coca-Cola and ketchup.

“Now and again, that is fine but they do it all the time. If I started following them, I would put on 10 kilos. I’m surprised when I see the physique of some of them and the way they run around like madmen. But I have never seen them turn up drunk for training.” Which is good to hear. Expect Cousin to sit out the match tomorrow evening!