Tottenham’s fatties need to lose even more weight!

Juande Ramos is still not satisfied with the weight that Tottenham’s players have lost, and still wants them to lose even more blubber, Spurs fitness coach Marcos Alvarez said:

“When we arrived we realised straight away that the team was carrying excess baggage.

“I made a very simple comparison with the Seville team that we had been working with and, taking into account the size of the players, the team was basically 100kg overweight.

“So I immediately talked to Tottenham and we set the wheels in motion to change things. They have now lost between 40 and 50 kilos.

“But now getting the rest off is the most difficult part — but we have also turned a lot of fat into muscle.”

Alvarez also described the Bacchanalian feasts that the porky Spurs team gorged themselves on every day under friendly ogre Martin Jol’s ‘all you can eat’ gob-stuffing regime. Ramos and Alvarez soon put an end to these daily Epicurean orgies, Alvarez continued:

“The truth is, the first buffet I saw I took photographs of because it was very interesting. Lots of sauces, a lot of cakes, chocolate muffins, a box full of sweets. So we tried to put things right.

“At the start, the players complained as we were taking away the things they liked.

“But gradually they have understood that we have done it so they can improve. And as the results have improved they have realised that it is necessary.

“They have all lost weight — some drastically. But they have seen how performances have improved and the team has moved up the league and they have accepted it.

“It’s not just a case of losing weight, if you can convert the fat into muscle then that can be a good thing too.”

So will the Spurs boys be able to lose yet more weight, and when will WeightWatchers sign up Tom Huddlestone as a spokesperson?

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