Man United to sign Amy Winehouse, Ronaldo off to Chelsea, the silly season reaches new depths

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If you believe everything you read, then Chelsea are going to play with 11 strikers come the start of the season. The latest player to be linked to Stamford Bridge is Cristiano Ronaldo. No, I don’t believe it either.

The transfer merry-go-round and the silly season in the national press is as inevitable as a letter from the taxman, but some of the transfer stories leave a lot to be desired. The latest laughable attempt to stimulate pub debate is the story that Gene Hackma, er, sorry, Phil Scolari, is attempting to hijack Real Madrid’s move for Cristiano Ronaldo. If Ronnie leaves, I will eat my hat. And I don’t want to do that because it’s a lovely red one with ’68, 99, 08 emblazoned across it. The idea is just pure nonsense; the story has as much weight as Ronaldinho’s proposed move to Citeh.

Why in Eric Cantona’s name would anyone with half the calibre of Ronaldinho think about joining Mark Hughes’ ‘revolution’? The Eastlands mob may have done the double over us last season and sneaked their way into that other European competition nobody cares about, but this is not the destination for a former world player of the year.

A potential world player of the year is Dimitar Berbatov but only if he bids farewell to White Hart Lane. The scowling Bulgarian has grown too big for his boots at Spurs and the lure of Champions League football will be too hard to resist. The result? This:

William Hill have paid out on Manchester United winning a third straight title after Berbatov, Carlos Tevez, Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo combined to demolish Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. It may only be Christmas, but the title, once again, is on its way to Old Trafford.

Expect to be reading that come November, if United do get their main. The difference between the red and blue is very much black and white – Chelsea can pay trillions for supposed world class talent but they don’t have the man management to make it work, with the odd (Essien, Ballack,) exceptions. No, Didier Drogba is not, and will not be, world class.

But with United it is a different story. Sir Alex Ferguson could get Amy Winehouse up front and she would still do a job.

So expect a cracking season ahead for the Republic of Mancunia.

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