Sky’s ex-Arsenal legend makes the most obvious Premier League predictions of all time

There should be a rule that stops people naming teams as ‘a dark horse’ when it’s clear as mud that they’re a talented side that are expected to go well next season. While it might be a reflection that the Premier League has become increasingly easy to call, it’s a shame that former pros that are paid a bucketload of money to talk in a bland fashion about the game can’t come up with anything better than the below.

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Sky Sports reports Paul Merson just about managing to string a sentence together and making his bold-as-predictions for the new campaign. Here are just a few choice comments from the man who isn’t afraid to stick his neck on the line.

My tip is Chelsea. I think Scolari will go for it and try and win games rather than just not lose them.

I think Manchester United will be runners-up, followed by Arsenal and then Liverpool.

I don’t like putting pressure on Harry but I think Portsmouth are very much the dark horses.

I think Bolton will struggle. West Brom will struggle to score goals in the Premier League.

Fernando Torres for Golden Boot…but you don’t know how many games he’ll play. A real dark horse in this category for me is Jermain Defoe.

Portsmouth the dark horses? If he’d called Wigan or Sunderland as a team to be up there fighting for a UEFA Cup place, not an outfit that finished eighth last season and have signed the likes of Peter Crouch and Younes Kaboul in the close season! However, let’s save our best quote for last:

The only chance of Stoke staying up is if Rory Delap stays fit because he’s got a long throw. He gets the ball in the box or wins a corner, and so sooner or later teams will buckle because of that.

Yes, Vidic and Ferdinand will be sh*tting it on Boxing Day, when they travel to the Britannia Stadium and come under fire from Delap’s long throw-ins. Why haven’t Premier League strugglers looked to sign someone with an exceedingly long throw before, surely the best way to succeed in all competitions!

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