I love the beautiful game and always have done, in fact I would say I am pretty much obsessed with the game but that doesn’t mean there are not elements that make me mad! Here is a run down of ten things that are the bane of the game!
10) The Fan who can’t stop complaining
You know who I mean! The fan that even when your team is 4-0 is still questioning the players and the manager, and what’s more it’s blatantly clear he doesn’t know what he is talking about! Every season when I sit down in my season ticket seat there is always one new one within the vicinity and it makes me mad! If everything the club does irritates you or if even a 4-0 win is simply not good enough, then why not burn your season ticket and never come back!
9) Post match interviews!
For too long now footballers have been considered a pretty unintelligent bunch and this is chiefly down to some of their not so clever or downright cliché ridden responses to post match interview questions. However I believe the fault for this is the frankly abysmal stock questions asked by post match interviewers which leave a player with no room for an interesting answer. Like asking a player after a big defeat “how do you feel about that performance” or after a 5-0 win “how do you feel about that performance”. I feel the media men can be a lot more creative if they wanted to so that they could form a decent watchable interview with a professional athlete. When they next grab hold of a player after they have just lost in the last minute of a crucial encounter why not ask “Who was at fault for that excruciatingly embarrassing last minute goal, and I want names!”
8) Club kits changing far too often
Ok, I get that a club needs to make money but the way the footballing industry currently works seems aimed at milking the cash cow to death and an obvious example of this is the market for club shirts. Replica kits used to change every two or three years, now it’s every season and of course there are two sets at least. One can only imagine the torment parents must have every summer when they’re children demand the latest top (which will of course look pretty much the same as the previous season). The costs of these kits are of course hugely inflated. If we are talking about a struggling League One or League Two club then I can understand the need to make money, but when we are talking about the superpowers of the world of football then it is clearly just a way of earning oodles of cash.
7) Match day programme!
I get one for every game, but why? It’s not like it’s a good read, and it’s a rip off! Last season it was £3, but for what? A team sheet? i can see who’s playing using my eyes! But still I buy one! I must be a fool. Essentially every programme is the same, 32 or 64 pages of cliché after cliché, sandwiched with ads.
Quite how Hooliganism still occurs in this day and age is beyond me, but still this goes on. I am more than happy to abuse my opposing fans with a chant or a swear word infested torrent. However there are still those who choose to attack fans of other clubs in a violent manner. Sure it was far worse in the 70s and 80s where I witnessed some incredibly stupid behaviour from fans of my club and indeed others, but there are still sporadic occasions when I see this still happening. Grow up!
5) Transfer Market craziness
The cost of players always increases, this is as a result of inflation and the success of the sport as a whole and therefore the funds available to spend on players. However the frighteningly high prices for frankly average to poor players is simply mind boggling! This summer has thrown up some really bizarre examples of this. Bobby Zamora was sold to Fulham for around £5.5m and all I have to say is, why? The former Spurs striker isn’t good, I am sure even West Ham fans would agree he is average at best, so how can he cost that much? Bolton paid a whopping £10m for Johan Elmander who at 27 isn’t a young talent who has loads of potential, he is a decent player, but since when did a decent player cost so much?
4) Armchair supporters!
God I hate these types. I have nothing against someone who chooses to not actively follow a team, whether that may be because of expense or some other more complex reason. However there are people who CHOOSE to simply watch their team from their living room and then proclaim to know everything about the game. These guys are also the most likely to switch their allegiance as often as I change my socks (which is at least once a month). The success of the Premier League has exacerbated this breed of fan to epidemic proportions. Once again I hasten to add, this is totally different to those who are true followers of a club who simply can’t attend a game in person due to geography or expense, the people I am talking about (and all football fans know of who I speak) are those who’s love of the game doesn’t extend as far as their reach to the remote control.
3) Player’s wages
Yes players wages are obscene, that’s obvious. However I don’t mind so much if a megastar with exceptional talent gets paid by the bucket load, but what really angers me is that there are clearly real duds earning millions! The average wage in the Premier League is getting nearer and nearer the million mark a fact made even more incomprehensible when you consider that includes players employed by Wigan, Stoke and Middlesbrough!
Yes another common gripe but one that consistently occurs without punishment. Weren’t players supposed to get booked for simulation (great code word for cheating) on the field of play? Time and again a player hurls himself down on the ground writhes around in agony only to be perfectly well and able to run 100m in 12 seconds the moment he wins the free-kick. The worst thing about this behaviour is it is even absorbed into the lower levels of the game, now even in Sunday league matches players dive! Something needs to be done, maybe it’s time to start giving red cards retroactively after a game. There could be a panel who views matches and looks for blatant cheats, which are far easier to locate after the match rather than in the split second decision under pressure. Then if a player is found to have repeatedly offended they can then be given a sufficient ban so they can learn the error of their ways!
1) Kissing the club badge
This should be made illegal for every player! It should be an automatic yellow card! The only players who should be allowed to kiss the club crest are those who have only played for one club and they have to have been at that one club at least seven years! You can bet that Robbie Keane will give the Liverpool badge a good kiss the moment he scores a top flight goal for them! I am not a Spurs fan but when that happens I will happily join them in their tirade of abuse! Imposing a law or a punishment for those who choose to proclaim their new found loyalty to their 14th club will ease my anger. This would make the likes of John Terry, Steven Gerrard and Ryan Giggs fully justified in showing their love of the club but would stop players like Frank Lampard from making me sick!