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Sing A Song For Those Pushing Tottenham To Relegation

Spooky is a guest writer whose Tottenham musings can be found at DearMrLevy.com .

I usually write letters to the chairman , but today’s 0-1 home defeat by the mighty-newly-promoted-hardly-cost-a-penny Hull City has made me break out in song. I think it’s a bit more dramatic than crying or crawling into a corner, swaying back and forth very slowly.

Some emotional vocals and some tap-dancing on my season ticket really does help with raising a smile when no-one around you (anywhere you sit or stand at WHL) can muster one. And who would blame them at the minute? But music helps mend the heart.

I’ll stop short of serenading Daniel Levy. Last time that happened I was arrested. Apparently singing ‘SACK THE BOARD’ at 4am in the morning outside his house is not permitted by law. This country is far too politically correct IMO. We won’t be able to breathe soon.

Another home defeat, in a game where we saw plenty of effort but no all-important ball hitting the back of the net in Tottenham’s favour. Desperate times at the Lane. Seven played, no win, two points. 20th. If they weren’t last week, or the week before that, Bottomham are in deep trouble.

You know things are bad when you look up to Sunderland with a little green-eyed jealousy. Watching Steed fighting for the ball, competing along with his team mates. Mostly all ex-Spurs. Whilst we put up with a powder-puff midfield, who talk the talk but never seem capable of walking the walk. Although to be fair, effort was decent today. But it’s the type of effort you associate with a newly-promoted team who are doing their utmost to survive in the Prem, and not a team that has spent millions upon millions.

But when you sit back and look at the bigger picture, £15m for a winger who sits on the bench would have been better spent on a defensive midfielder. Which is why Hull look more Prem and we stink of the Championship (no disrespect to the Championship, but if they were a fragrance, they would be Brut, whilst the Prem would be Chanel. We stink of Brut. Gallons of it).

But hey, Levy and Comolli are the ones who make the decisions, so who am I to question their wage packet? Their big big wage packet.

As for the game stats that stand out: 16 shots on target, 10 off. Hit the post. Bent could have / should have scored. When luck doesn’t smile her face at you, then you know that you truly are up against it.

And next up is Stoke. 8th game of the season and you can tag this as a ‘Relegation Dogfight Six-Pointer’. Hand on heart, can you see Spurs winning this game based on everything that’s been dished out in the way of performances thus far this season? Don’t answer that question. Just knowingly wink and nod at your monitor.

But what song is apt for such a miserable and tragic occasion that befalls us Spurs fans? How long would I spend having to find a song and then change the lyrics to make it Spurs-related? Well, thanks to Rose Royce, not long at all. Seems this song was actually made for Tottenham . So much so, that I’ve hardly had to re-work the original. Such is its simplicity and majestic honesty.

South Stand, North Stand, East Stand and West…..actually, you lot don’t need to bother with the singing. But the rest of you, sing it loud and embrace our possible future head on. It’s more therapeutic than you might think.

"We’re Goin’ Down" (Original lyrics by Rose Royce, re-worked by Spooky)

No win in our hands
What’s going on here Daniel
You ain’t got no footballing plans
No no no no
And Zokora and Jenas running
Around White Hart Lane
Is slowly, is slowly drivin’ me insane

We’re goin’ down
We’re goin’ down
Cause you ain’t bought a DM
My whole world’s upside down

Passing the ball don’t come easy
Daniel please believe me
Since you been here
Everything’s goin’ wrong
Why’d you have to have a Director of Football
Look what you’ve done to us
Will Ramos stop these tears from fallin’ from my eyes
Ooh we are doomed

We’re goin’ down
We’re goin’ down
Cause we play with no style
My whole world’s upside down

Oooh Lilywhites
goin’ down, goin’ down
Mmm ooh we’re goin’ down
Ooh I, I…

We’re goin’ down
We’re goin’ down
Cause you sold Keane and Berbs
My whole world’s upside down

Ooh, goin’ down
Goin’ down
Oh, I don’t know what to do

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