Man United Pair Targeted in Incredibly Unlikely Middlesbrough Swoop: Mr. Southgate Clutches at Straws!

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The Rumour

Middlesbrough boss Gareth Southgate is chasing Manchester United captain Gary Neville.

The Evening Gazette says Southgate sees the Manchester United legend as the perfect player to shout and point Boro towards promotion next season.

Neville, now 34, and back in the England squad, is a potential leader and a strong character in and out of the dressing room.

The problem in trying to prise Neville away from United is that he has always been a one-club man, and has recently signed a contract extension until June, 2010.

Also on Boro’s radar is United teammate Paul Scholes.

The Source (Evening Gazette as reported on

The Analysis

Where do I even start with this? How the hell does Gareth Southgate have the nerve to go to work anymore? Surely he should’ve been sacked sometime after he relegated the rather piss poor Middlesbrough side he constructed?

The idea that he may be able convince either of these veterans to move to Riverside is frankly bizarre. Unless he plans on drugging them or perhaps has some compromising pictures with which he is blackmailing them I can’t see how this even made it to a local paper!

The Boro boss is clearly clutching at straws hoping that some ‘dream’ signings may well delay the inevitable. Wake up Steve Gibson! This is the man who bought Afonso Alves and Marvin Emnes for god’s sake! Expect the former England penalty kick miss expert to be sacked either before the season begins or just after they fail to win any of their first four games.

The Likelihood

Neville and Scholes to Middlesbrough: Frankly I will eat my colon if either considers this move!

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