Man United Star Tries Football, Decides It’s Not For Him, Opts for Career in Gardening

As this England man gets ready to call it a day, your truly took time out of his busy schedule to ask Mr. Hargreaves what he plans to do next.

As we all know Owen Hargreaves, the human being paid by Man United to test out the club’s physiotherapist’s knowledge, hasn’t played a competitive football match since 1987 but now it appears he has decided that football may not be the form of employment he chooses to pursue.

The former Bayern Munich man and one time male model has decided that a career in gardening may be more his cup of tea after going so long without playing a game of football that he now no longer understands the rules of the sport.

When interviewed on the subject of his past successes he simply responded “Was that really me…it was all so long ago” and then goes about de-weeding his impressive front lawn whilst taking extra care not to accidentally sever his toes with his state of the art lawn mower.

Football has not been kind to Mr. Hargreaves in recent years and a succession of bone snapping incidents have left him disillusioned and depressed and now he wants to try to carve out another career one that he can pursue long after his knees cease to operate with any fluidity. Luckily his years in the game have left him fairly well off and therefore he is able to fully realise his ambitions.

When invited along by Sir Alex Ferguson for the Champions League Final in Rome Owen admits to having little interest in the game and found himself far more interested in the quality of the playing surface, so much so that at half-time he could be seen alongside the Stadio Olimpico’s head groundsman prodding at the grass with a fork, it was a bizarre sight for many but Owen admitted it felt natural for him to be out there.

“I just couldn’t help myself really. The lads went to the dressing room but i was transfixed by the grass and the way it seemed so perfectly manicured. So i had a word with Mr. Garibaldi and even in his pigeon English i sensed the love he had for the soil and the surface of perfectly laid turf, it was like I belonged and in many ways it was the confirmation i was looking for within myself that gardening was what i was born for”.

I am sure we all wish Owen well in the future and who know’s maybe one day he will return to Old Trafford again, if only to turn the soil or switch the sprinklers on.

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