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Mr Odious and Obese Set to Stay at Newcastle United

Anyone wondering if things could get any worse for the Toon Army faithful will be stunned to find out that they can indeed sink even lower.

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Mike Ashley, the Newcastle United owner, is examining the possibility of retaining possession of the relegated club for at least another year.

The Times has learnt that Ashley has set the two consortiums still involved in substantive negotiations to buy the club an informal deadline of Friday. They have already missed an earlier deadline of July 31.

However, while Keith Harris, the executive chairman of Seymour Pierce, the investment bank charged with handling the sale of the club, stated last night that “something positive” could happen by the end of this month, it is understood that Ashley views the beginning of Newcastle’s Coca-Cola Championship campaign this weekend as a crucial date.

Once it has passed — although a sale would still be possible — the chances of a deal being completed will diminish rapidly, with the closure of the transfer window at the end of the month preventing a prospective new owner from buying or selling players.

If he cannot secure a sale at or near his asking price, the sportswear retailer intends to recommit himself for another 12 months in the hope that a return to the Barclays Premier League will be achieved at the first attempt. (Times Online)

Mr Odious and Obese, Mike Ashley for the un-intelligent, seems to have the staying power of a Cockroach during a Nuclear war, with a personality to match. Quite what the Newcastle United fans have done to deserve such a leader is beyond me and I can only hope that the long suffering fans get what they deserve, and that is a new owner and King Kev back at the helm.

After pressing the self destruct button more times than the person who makes self destruct buttons, Mr. Ashley has lowered the clubs value to such a degree that he can hardly manage to give the club away let alone make some kind of profit on it.

Things could go from bad to worse at St James’ Park unless things get sorted sharpish, given the horrendous Pre-season form the chances of the club bouncing back to the top tier are not as good as some bookies will have you believe and even less so if Chris “how the hell did I become the boss” Hughton remains in post.

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