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Top Ten Most Unfashionable Premier League Players

Liverpool, Tottenham and Manchester United players make this list of professionals who could have easily stepped out of a time warp in the style of Life on Mars

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Sports - November 24, 2007

The players who have belied the Premier League glitz and glamour ethos in favour of good old fashioned blood, sweat and tears. These ten are just the kind you need for those long trips to rain soaked locations and bobbly pitches. It is important to recognise that being ‘unfashionable’ doesn’t necessarily imply ‘not good enough’ although in one or two cases that is indeed what is meant.

Sports News - January 21, 2009

John O’Shea (Man United)

For many years people have been baffled by this Irishman’s continued presence in the Old Trafford first team picture. Onlookers have misjudged the multi purpose player and his apparent lack of ability. Yes he does sometimes opt to lump the ball in the stands instead of playing the ball out in a cultured manner, but he is actually a damn effective player and one who Sir Alex values highly.

Kevin Davies (Bolton)

The human battering ram. Consistently named the player who concedes the most fouls but also comes in for a far amount of ill treatment from defenders and referees alike. Has resolved the main problem area of his game, namely lack of goals, in recent seasons. The Bolton forward is crucial to the club’s continued presence in the top tier.

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Peter Crouch (Tottenham)

Being lanky, gangly and altogether scary looking have made some feel that he has little to offer the modern game. They are wrong. There is a reason that the 28 year old has been sold for the princely sum of £33m in his career thus far.

Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)

When he first arrived in the Premier League he somewhat failed to deliver as a hotshot striker and was in danger of losing his place in the starting eleven at Anfield. Rafa then pulled something of a masterstroke by reinventing the Dutchman as a right winger, its been a huge success but many still, again wrongly, feel that Dirk is still not very good.

Carlton Cole (West Ham)

He may now finally be getting the plaudits he deserves but there are still many who feel the striker lacks real quality and that he is merely a cumbersome forward who doesn’t score nearly enough. The former Chelsea man has been in great form at Upton Park for the best part of 18 months and is beginning to prove that he is worthy of the attentions of Mr. Capello.

Titus Bramble (Wigan)

Much maligned centre back who has improved immeasurably. No nonsense defender who may occasionally play the game as though he has never seen a football before, a truly unfashionable player who in fairness is not half as bad as many have made him out to be.

Brian Jensen (Burnley)

The ‘Beast’ is an uncompromising keeper who never shirks a challenge. A real throwback to the days when a goalie was expected to be clinically insane to do his job effectively. The most likely custodian to do a ‘Bert Trautmann’ and break his neck and continue playing regardless.

Emile Heskey (Aston Villa)

The type of forward who were ten to a penny in the old days, Heskey puts it about (albeit falls to the floor with alarming ease, although not to Drogba lengths) the England international has managed to forge out a long career in the Premier League whilst onlookers question just how he manages to do so.

Martin Skrtel (Liverpool)

The type of footballer who everyone wants on their team and no striker wants to come up against, Skrtel will take the ball and the man, rather than just the ball just to make a point to the opposition. A straightforward unspectacular centre back just like they used to make them before the Premier League came along.

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Kevin Kilbane (Hull City)

These days they make wingers and full backs who can bomb down the wing and throw a trick or two in the direction of the opposing player, Irishman Kilbane is truly a throwback to the days when the most important thing was the ability to consistently put in a good cross. Now at Hull City, he is still capable of occasionally looking competent.


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