Stan Collymore Writes Article…Crap Falls Out…No One Is Surprised!

Our friends at The Spoiler expertly dissect the latest creation of mad idiotic genius, and one time Dogging enthusiast, that is Stan ‘The Very Crazy’ Man

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Let’s take a closer look at (Stan Collymore’s) thoughts:

The Premier League is considered by many to be the best league in the world but I think drastic reform is needed to keep it at the pinnacle.

In some of the finest Schools of Journalism, they teach that a good way to indicate you are about to waste a few minutes of your reader’s time, is to make the opening sentence nonsensical, thus hinting to the reader to go and do something else. Here Stan delivers, pointing out that the success of the Premier League (which lies in its top-to-bottom competitiveness) could only be maintained by ditching any competition outside of who wins the thing. It’s the equivalent of Terry Leahy advocating Tesco stop pushing the food element so much.

Turning now to the hub of Stan’s argument:

And there would be no promotion or relegation which would allow those teams to grow.

No it would not. After all, with no threat of relegation, why should any chairman or team outside the top three make any effort to win the league, or even to improve? Why should fans care or go anymore? If a team is 10 points clear at the top by November, what interest is there for the rest of the season?

It would make a pleasant change from watching some of the smaller clubs in the Premier League in recent times like Reading, Wigan and Bolton.

Perhaps. So why write in the same column, “So there is very much a place for Stoke City in the top-flight and I have enormous respect for their wily manager Pulis.” Having never won a league or FA Cup, it seems unlikely Stoke would be there as one of the, “biggest and most successful sides in modern history.”

Fans around the world want to see the huge games – not clashes involving clubs like Barnsley, Watford or Hull.

A bit like arguing, that because the Sun is the biggest selling newspaper, people only want to have that one paper in their newsagents. And that we should close down the Mirror. Hang on a sec actually…

The Football League would still function if you are a Wigan or a Notts County or a smaller club.

Well Notts County, as the oldest club in the country, would probably stake a claim to being one of the clubs who have ”contributed the most over the last 100 years.”
In addition, the point is untrue. The only thing that keeps all four divisions going, is the hope for even the smallest teams, that one day, they may mix it with the big boys. Stymie that hope, and there is nothing left. Fact.

There is little precedent in other sports for the system of meritocracy if you look at the NFL.

Ah, the NFL. Well Stan, take a look at the global tv audience for Liverpool vs Manchester United yesterday, and compare that to the American Football at Wembley. The Premier League wins by a distance – so we shall take no lessons from the NFL thanks.

No further questions your honour. And Stan, we’ll still never forget that goal against Atletico Madrid. Even after all this. (The Spoiler)

And there you have it. I really don’t understand how an ex footballer can appear to know nothing of the game of which he used to earn a very decent living. Rarely does an article by the former Southend man not come up with some pearl of wisdom that makes you do a double take and wonder if you had in fact read what you thought you had or if someone had slipped some kind of pill into your coffee rendering everything you read worthless.

This is the former Liverpool man who at any given opportunity sticks the knife into the club, the man who has on previous occasion claimed that ‘fans’ know nothing about the game and only ‘ex-pros’ can comment meaningfully on the game. He really does make Jan Moir, the crazy Daily Mail bigot who laid into the recently deceased Stephen Gately, look like a calm and measured journalist! Actually I take that back, they are both as bad as each other! Neither know what they are talking about and both have managed to fool publications into paying them money to come up with mindless bile!

Rant Over!

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