The Sad Truth About MLS Hero David Beckham

COS contributor Sausage Fingers delves into a failed American adventure.

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A fantastic career came to a crashing halt as Mr. Manchester, Madrid,
L.A. and Milan tore his achilles thus ending his hopes for another
World Cup.

I actually felt a bit sorry for the golden boy, he has done
so much to achieve his WC goal and single handedly sold millions of
shirts world wide. Now faced with returning to his Disney World team
with no chance of South African glory, he will assume the position of
talisman for the MLS which will hopefully go on strike and therefore
keep Landon Donovan at Everton where I believe he belongs. Other than
the topless beaches, plastic movie stars and siliconed whores why
would anyone want to play to half empty stadiums in L.A.? Possibly
the draw of legends like Abel Xavier, Josh Tudela or Joe Cannon.
The fanfare that welcomed Becks to Americaland was nothing short of
spectacular, but in a country where soccer fights for popularity with
women’s weightlifting the adoration quickly faded. Corporate sponsors
paid him millions while his so called professional teammates made shit
for wages and the results on the pitch were a direct effect of this
bullshit policy.

So Mr Beckham gets a failing grade for his “I want to change soccer to
the most popular sport in America” campaign, but he gets and A+ for
marketability, his injury was reported on the local 6pm news all over
the U.S. although it is quite ironic that only a negative soccer note
can make the news in the States.
I thinks it is fair time for Becks to hang up the boots and make his
way to the broadcast booth for the MLS, at least for a year or two.
Although the soccer is improving a wee bit every year, the
commentating is absolutely dreadful, the commentators are washouts
from baseball and American football and these idiots have no clue how
to call a game. One of these twats actually commented on where he ate
lunch that day, this was during a match.

If Becks still wants to bask in the worlds adoration, then I suggest
he retires from soccer/football and takes on the role of ambassador.
Other the the great Pele, who would be the most recognizable broken
footballer to take the job. He can attend movie premiers, cut ribbons
at coffee shop openings, juggle soccer balls in front of new banks,
etc.. And everyday he is out doing ambassadory things is one more day
away from spending with Posh shopping for heels and hair extensions.
I wish you all the best Becks in your future endeavors, I hope you
curl in a free kick from 30 yards at your testimonial. (Use an
English keeper to make sure the kick goes in)

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