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Is Gareth Barry Actually a Crab In Disguise as Professional Footballer?

For quite some time I have been proclaiming that Man City midfielder Gareth Barry is actually not a very good footballer. His actions on the football pitch are very much like a drunken crab. His movement and distribution is so repetitive he would be an ideal candidate to be used as a drinking game. Every time the England man passes sideways or backwards you take a shot. Within 90 minutes all players will be dead due to alcohol poisoning.

The former Aston Villa man has made a living out of doing nothing too spectacular and has probably driven his Opta statistics through the roof by tapping balls to players two yards away, players who didn’t even want the ball in the first place. His performance against Montenegro was hideous and the sooner people realise the 29 year old is in fact just a crab in disguise, the better.

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