Managers Fall over Themselves for Chilean miners

This weeks Offside View is obsessed, as we all are, with the 33 men who somehow survived for over two months with the X-Factor!

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Reports are emerging today that several British teams, having seen unique skills in the Chileans, are chasing the miners involved in the epic release operation. Some quotes have already come out.

Ian Holloway revealed that Blackpool were looking to do a deal before the big clubs got involved “I’m a bit disappointed as we’d been trying to keep this underground and up until the last couple of days had been successful. The only problem we’ve had is that with their recent overtime bonus seems to have taken them out of our wage limits.”

Manchester United exec David Gill was quoted “We’ve been looking at several of the miners closely and are impressed with the reports coming our way. The ability to work in confined spaces will certainly help in the Premier League. The manager hasn’t seen any of them play but we’ve tabled a £7m bid for young Jimmy Sanchez who we think will be perfectly equipped to play in the hole behind the main striker”

Craig Levein has been checking the family lines of all the miners, looking for Scottish connections, “To play 4-6-0 requires amazing positional discipline, getting the players to stay in one place for 90 minutes is incredibly difficult. These guys have managed it for 7 weeks, so we’d be wrong not to search availability options.”

Tony Pulis was looking to bring some extra steel to Stoke City “I like players who are prepared to play deep, be patient, and who are not scared of getting a bit dirty. I won’t be shafted though.”

Harry Redknapp, known for unearthing talent, said “We’ve had an agent there for a couple of weeks to be honest and he’s been digging around to see what he could find out. Apparently a few of the guys think their current jobs are the pits so we should be able to get something sorted out.”
Carlos Ancelotti was keeping his cards close to his chest “I wasn’t bothered until I heard a few had worked well with Cole in the past, so I’ll be speaking with Ashley to see what he thinks.”

Ready to seize an opportunity was Sam Allardyce “We sometimes have problems attracting players to Rovers. However here we have people who have had nothing to do and not seen sunlight for months, so they’d be perfectly suited to coming to Blackburn.”
David Moyes was equally optimistic “I’ll leave no stone unturned in finding new talent for Everton. People may say I’ve made minor mistakes on transfers in the past but now these talents have come to light I won’t be missing out.”
So, you heard it here first, don’t be surprised if a Chilean rocks up at your club in January.

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