Eastlands and Old Trafford pair in happier times.
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After a weekend of very little Premier League action due to the onslaught of the Arctic Armageddon, the footballing world kicked back into gear on Monday with news no one had expected: Yes my friends, Gary Speed has indeed asked for help having realised just how big a job he has on his hands turning around the Welsh National team. I know I speak for all of us when I say, “good luck with that one.”
In other news, Argentina’s Carlos Tevez had set the gymnastic world alight on the Monday morning with his rendition of Wayne Rooney’s much revered routine from only the other month, the 180° turn-around with tail between legs. It gained a perfect 10 from the Manchester City fans, who greeted him upon his return to the starting line up against Everton with uproarious applause, their adoration apparently undeterred by his want-away actions. more concerned with the fact that their side had the opportunity to climb to the summit of the premier league table for Christmas; they, the star of Bethlehem towering high above a stable filled with asses and donkeys.
Such illusions, as with hindsight we can confirm they turned out to be, of grandeur are very clearly shared by Señor Tevez himself. The highest paid player in the entire league decides to throw his toys out of the pram due to a disagreement with the Manchester City board, not even taking into consideration the fact that he has been essentially carrying the entire team this season (admittedly with the help of the flourishing David Silva), and expects to be handed a transfer. City were never going to let him go, and a simple chat with Mancini sorted it all out.
“As long as he gets to keep the armband!” shouts this season’s pantomime villain from off-screen. Cue Kia Joorabchian stage right, taking wild swings at the immaculate nativity scene the fans had created in homage to their sure-to-be table topping side.
And then it all begins to make sense. How is it that the Grinch that stole football is still involved in the game in any other way than being used as a one man wall for Roberto Carlos’ freekick practice (old school yes, but you have to admit he could smash a football like no other)? Not content with making millions off the back of an illegal third-party ownership system, he now continues leeching from the game acting as Tevez’s advisor.
Now, Carlos, I have some advice for you. I understand that you may be homesick, and your family may miss you dearly. But as long as you have Mr. Joorabchian playing the organ grinder, you will always be the monkey, and monkeys don’t get what they want unless the organ grinder does.
Sir Alex Ferguson would undoubtedly agree. He blames the Rooney transfer debacle on Paul Stretford, the United striker’s agent. The problem is that these young men with unquestionable levels of skill are naïve enough to be turned into money-craving monsters by master spinners such as Joorabchian and Stretford, and it is a fact that is turning the game uglier by the day.
And so I leave you with this: At Christmas, as the City fans proved last night with their remarkable welcome of Tevez’s return, we teach good will to all men. Except for the likes of Joorabchian and Stretford. There is most certainly no room at the inn for them.
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