The top ten laziest footballers of all time.
10. Kenwyne Jones
When was the last time you saw Jone run? Not a light jog, or a short sprint into position, but a full on pitch long hustle on a breakaway. Hard, right?
That’s because Jones was once described by then Southampton manager Harry Redknapp as a player so laid back he was practically comatose. He later infuriated Sunderland fans with his minimal work ethic and was subsequently shipped out to Stoke where things seldom improved.
Now at Cardiff he’ll need to pull his socks up if he hopes to help them avoid a return to the Championship at the first time of asking.
9. Adel Taarabt
The Moroccan has somehow amazingly found himself at AC Milan this year despite being too lazy to keep away from Fulham’s bench.
During his time with Queens Park Rangers he almost single handedly dragged the club up to the Premier League by putting in one stunning display after another.
However, that was seemingly all he was prepared to do as when the club got to the top flight he’d given up.
Upon joining Fulham, Steve Sidwell joked that the rest of the squad had to tell him to track back, but apparently he didn’t take the warning that seriously either.
8. Rafael Van Der Vaart
VDV is the absolute epitome of a ‘luxury player’ as on his day he can be one of the best in the world, whereas on others he can resemble something more of a liability.
During his time he has taken part in some huge games with some huge sides, but he gave a shocking insight into just how lazy he can be whilst at Spurs when he said: “If I have to chase after an attacking full-back every time, I can’t play my own game to my best ability.”
7. John Carew
John Carew has spent his career moving around, ironically, as no club was truly able to get the best out of him and that includes Aston Villa, where he spent a lengthy spell between 2007-11.
However, even at Villa he was regarded as a lazy player, which was frustrating because when he wanted to he could be nothing short of devastating.
He left the West Midlands for two quiet and uneventful stints with Stoke City and West Ham before hanging up his boots in 2012.
6. Lukas Podolski
On first glance the German international may not seem like he belongs on this list, with 46 goals for the German national team, and his goal record with a number of his club sides has always been on the right side of healthy, however, he does have a big problem with consistency that has held him back considerably over the years.
Furthermore, confirmation of his lazy status came from former Germany goalkeeper Uli Stein, who called him “the laziest player they have ever worked with.”
4. Alvaro Recoba
The Uruguayan spent the buy of his time at Inter Milan, where he earned much acclaim for his wand of a left foot that would frequently cause so much damage from set piece situations. However, he seemed to thank that would be enough to carry him through his time there and went on to neglect a number of other aspects of his game.
He frequently admitted that he was not keen on taking part in training and would often be subbed off midway through games without having broken a sweat.
To his credit, though, he is still playing top flight football at the age of 37 as he continues to turn out for Uruguayan side Nacional.
3. Winston Bogarde
At one point the Dutchman was one of the finest defenders in the world, but it all fell apart by the time he arrived at Stamford Bridge .
Signing for the Blues in 2000, he proceeded to make just nine appearances across four years and left with his reputation in tatters, undoing the excellent work he’s put in for both Ajax and Barcelona.
“Why should I throw fifteen million Euro away when it is already mine? At the moment I signed it was in fact my money, my contract,” he said of his time with the Blues.
2. Dimitar Berbabtov
Lazy or laconic? There are arguments for both, but one thing is for sure; there aren’t many players who were capable of looking so apathetic whilst out on a football pitch.
“When someone has great qualities sometimes they don’t have to put much effort into things,” he’d say.
However, he was often forgiven for his slow approach thanks to the minor miracles he would so frequently pull off. He wouldn’t have to run much because the ball was drawn to him like a magnet and then he would be left to his own devices to make things happen.
1. Matt Le Tissier
Le Tissier was perhaps one of the most illuminating footballers that the UK has ever produced, but for every nice of genius he possessed, he was just as lazy.
Frequently slow and unwilling to run, he did well to wrack up 161 goals in 443 appearances for the Saints (too lazy to leave?) but he would often make amends for his lack of mobility by pulling something absolutely magical out of the bag when the club needed it most.
Sadly, his minimalist efforts have often been cited as the reason for his astonishing lack of England caps (8) and towards the end of his career he did appear to be storing a spare tire around his gut in preparation for the winter.