Ten of the worst musical crimes committed by footballers.
With the World Cup on the horizon, it won’t be long before the airways will be polluted by all of those Eurovision style Official World Cup songs.
And with that in mind here are the ten worst songs released by footballers themselves.
10. Paul Gascoigne – Fog On The Tyne
Once upon a time someone told Gazza that he could wrap, so he set about to prove that person so spectacularly wrong that he churned this out.
9. Glenn & Chris – Diamond Lights
Glenn Hoddle was so in his element during this performance that Chris Waddle had to beat him with his own sequinned jacket just to convince him not to hang up his boots to pursue a career in pop.
8. Kevin Keegan – Head Over Heels In Love
Wow! Those trousers! That grin! DAT HAIR! What were you thinking, Kev? No wonder Billy Bremner tried to rip your head off – he knew this was coming!
7. Ian Wright – Do The Right Thing
Ian clearly didn’t take his own advice here and then went on to disregard it completely with those ridiculous Chicken Tonight ads.
6. Tottenham Hotspur – Ossie’s Dream
Really, is there anyone who isn’t sick to the back teeth of this song yet?
5. Ruud Gullit – Not The Dancing Kind
At some point in the ’80s somebody pressed the demo key on a keyboard and persuaded Gullit to sing over the top of it. Had these guys not heard of production values?
4. Morten Gamst Pedersen w/The Players – The Is For Real
The Norwegian international’s extracurricular activities involved being in a boy band during his playing career. We wonder how much stick he took in the dressing room for this!
3. Vinnie Jones – Big Bad Leroy Brown
A tough guy covering a song about a tough guy does not make said tough guy a tougher guy.
2. Terry Venables – If I Can Dream
What is it about old men that makes them start crooning once they reach a certain age? El Tel released this weak Elvis cover before the last World Cup in a bid to inspire patriotism. It didn’t work, clearly.
1. Andy Cole – Outstanding
It’s most certainly not, Andrew, not at all.