England are out, unsurprisingly, but there’s no need to burst into tears as there are several plus sides to their exit.
1) Free of the pain and emotion of following England, you can now, properly, enjoy the World Cup. South Korea vs Algeria anyone…
2) Your employers were probably beginning to get suspicious of your well timed ‘illness’
3) Fake football ‘fans’ will now vanish into the foreground until the next major tournament
4) You can now watch Wimbledon, not for the tennis but so you can watch the plebs stand in a queue for a sporting pastime they couldn’t give a damn about for the other 50 weeks of the year…
5) You can now concentrate on how your club favourites are performing in Brazil, wow, look at Marouane Fellaini go!
6) No need to tune to ITV to see the sweaty Brummie mass that is Adrian Chiles. If you must watch ITV we suggest you do so one second after kick-off…
7) Your alcohol intake will reduce significantly which in turn extend your life span that little bit longer so you can safely enjoy more World Cup heartache in 2018, 2022, 2026…
8) Admit it, you were getting bored of hearing ‘Three Lions’ on infinite repeat!
9) New football season on the horizon, the 2014/15 fixture list is out!
10) There’s always Euro 2016…
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