How many of these have you heard of…?
Check out this list of the top twenty most appalling, yet hilarious names in all of football. From club names, to players and even referee’s, it’s all been covered down the years, and now it’s been compiled into one incredibly titillating list.
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Check out the names below – which come courtesy of the Daily Mirror:
20) An early England one-cap wonder, Segar Bastard naturally went on to become a referee.
19) Winger Wayne Wanklyn played in the same Reading side as keeper Steve Death.
18) Famously lobbed by Nayim, David Seaman ’s nickname at Arsenal was ‘H’ – short for Harry Monk. Another goalkeeper, Stanislav Seman , was in the Czech side which won Olympic gold in 1980.
17) Filipino keeper Alphonse Areola has been linked with Manchester United and Tottenham after impressing at Paris St Germain.
16) Former Grasshoppers striker Andre Muff was a former Switzerland team-mate of Bernt Haas.
15) Briefly in the limelight with Independiente and Celta Vigo, Argentinean striker Mario Turdo is currently without a club.
14) Roberto Martinez’s Wigan reign began to go wrong the moment his move for Chilean centre back Waldo Ponce broke down last year. Instead Ponce joined the best-named team in Chile – O’Higgins.
13) Recently assistant manager at Bury, former centre back Peter Shirtliff ’s name caused giggles at Sheffield Wednesday, Charlton, Wolves and Barnsley.
12) One of Kevin Keegan’s worst signings, Dutch winger Brian Pinas made one substitute appearance in nearly two years before returning to Feyenoord.
11) Finally retired at nearly 40, it’s a lasting regret that Czech defender Milan Fukal failed a week’s trial with Leeds in 2006.
10) Part of the Dutch side thumped 4-1 by England at Wembley in Euro 96, Johan de Kock won an unlucky 13 caps for Holland.
9) A £5m disaster from the John Barnes/Kenny Dalglish management team at Celtic, Rafael Scheidt started only three league games for the Bhoys and later joined Botafogo. He lived up to his name.
8) Briefly linked with the Liverpool vacancy before Kenny Dalglish returned, former Brazil defender Argelico Fucks is, unsurprisingly, known as Argel.
7) Chelsea disappointed everyone in 2009 by dropping their interest in Independiente keeper Fabian Assman.
6) The number one club in the Peruvian Andes, widely criticised in the mid-‘00s for moving their stadium to the city of Cerro de Pasco, 4,380 above sea level, are named after a local tribe… Deportivo Wanka.
5) Long linked with a Premier League move, time is running out for an English club to snap up the services of Marseille right back Rod Fanni.
4) Germany’s Under-20 manager, a former East German international and one-club man with Dynamo Dresden, is named Ralf Minge.
3) While at Benfica, Germany keeper Hans-Jorg Butt was briefly understudy to former Portugal No.1 Quim.
2) Fulham boss Martin Jol’s brothers Richard and Cornelius are known as Dick and Cock . ‘What’s so funny about this?’ the scary Dutchman once raged to a Tottenham press conference, as journos stifled their giggles. ‘Cock is a common name in the Netherlands.’
1) The former Germany striker who enlivened the video for Baddiel and Skinner’s Three Lions remake in ’88, Stefan Kuntz has embraced his name’s brilliance since becoming general manager of Kaiserslautern, by signing both Danny Fuchs and Florian Dick.
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