Ronaldo turns 30…a celebration of his career so far.
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1) He’s just your average 50-60 goal-a-season striker, having reached these figures for the last four seasons and counting.
2) He has 288 goals in 277 games for Real Madrid…clearly finds football too easy and should try something more challenging.
3) He is the first player to ever score in six consecutive El Clasico matches, which is definitely better than Lionel Messi’s claim as the top scorer in the history of the fixture.
4) He has opened a museum dedicated to himself. What more is there to say?
5) He has scored 23 La Liga hat-tricks, more than any other player in history.
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6) He cried when he missed his penalty for Manchester United in the 2008 Champions League final…even after they’d already won the shootout!
7) He took off his shirt and celebrated like mad when he scored against Atletico Madrid in last season’s final…from a penalty…when the game was already over.
8) He hates Lionel Messi and everyone knows it.
9) He once changed the way his hair was gelled at half time.
10) Despite being obsessed with his looks, he can header the ball like an ugly British centre-forward, or maybe better.
11) He loves his 40-yard goal against Porto from 2009, saying: “It’s the best goal I’ve ever scored. I’ve just seen the replay and I didn’t realise it was 40 yards out and I hit it at 65mph – wow!”
12) He winked on camera after getting club team-mate Wayne Rooney sent off at the World Cup in 2006.
13) He and Rooney then struck up an amazing partnership for the Red Devils for the next few seasons.
14) He has almost as many underwear photoshoots as he does goals.
15) He invented the ‘mule kick’ with his brilliant piece of improvisation to score against Valencia last season.
16) He knocked Arsenal out of the Champions League in the first ten minutes of their semi-final second leg in 2009.
17) He took the number 7 shirt from David Beckham at Manchester United and has outdone Becks on both hair and free-kicks.
18) He and Sir Alex Ferguson seem to genuinely get along, which no one can work out at all.
19) He loved being the most expensive player of all time and we all know he hates Gareth Bale for taking that record.
20) His agent has recently claimed he is worth £1billion, so take that Gareth!
21) He still hates Nani for being offside and heading in his goal that was going in.
22) He has won the Ballon d’Or three times and will not rest until he has more than Messi.
23) He didn’t celebrate when he scored against Manchester United, which we know was hard because he loves celebrating.
24) It was recently reported that he even celebrates his goals like mad in training sessions. No one’s surprised.
25) His son is named after himself. Again, no one’s surprised.
26) He paid an anonymous woman to have his baby and no one really knows what happened there.
27) He once scored a really good goal and pointed to his leg muscles in celebration.
28) He did that weird shout when he won the Ballon d’Or.
29) But he was also moved to tears when he won it the previous year, so you decide what’s worse.
30) He’s now 30 and, for better or worse, he is ageing just like all of us and can’t play forever. That’s just a fact.