The Premier League is full of characters; it’s why we all love it so much…that and the football, of course.
There are those players we love; the impeachables, those untarnished few, the figures who can do no wrong in our eyes…Harry Kane, Garry Monk, Eva Carneiro…we’re looking at you.
Arguably more interesting, however (and we’re not saying a trip to Ibiza with Mr. Monk wouldn’t be interesting) are those figures we love to hate.
In this feature—a gentle nod towards Quentin Tarantino, the Caught Offside team’s second-favourite film director—we’ve picked our very own ‘Hateful Eight’ – the Premier League’s Hated Eight.
Jose Mourinho
Nobody likes a poor loser, but as Mourinho has proved, people like a poor winner even less.
Any lingering goodwill and respect the Portuguese coach had generated over the years has evaporated this last week following his outrageous treatment of Chelsea club doctor Eva Carneiro.
So much for the Special One…
Joey Barton
Anyone who takes his anger out on Adel Taarabt (a real office favourite here at Caught Offside) is going to alienate some people and, it’s fair to say, Barton’s alienated quite a few over the years.
They say he’s entertaining—and a point can be made here—but we suspect that if you’re on the receiving end of a cigar to the eye, an elbow to the eye or a punch to the chest, you’re not going to take too kindly to the Footballing Philosopher’s latest Twitter ramble.
Charlie Adam
Sure, he can score a long-range goal or two. Whoop Dee Doo.
It doesn’t change the fact that Charlie Adam is one of the Premier League’s genuine creeps, and possibly the cowardliest player in the top flight.
Give us a crunching tackle from Dave Mackay or Roy Keane any day over one of Adam’s sneaky little rakes down the back of Gareth Bale’s Achilles.
Charles Graham ‘hardman’ Adam…a shoo-in for this list.
Raheem Sterling
Once upon a time—it feels a long time ago now—Raheem Sterling was the darling of English football.
Then Aidy Ward opened his mouth.
The affection steadily dripped away from Sterling during a summer spent dissociating himself with Liverpool, and he finally got his exit wish.
We suspect that Sterling will fit right in at the snake pit that is Manchester City, the only question is whether he sits next to Samir Nasri or Fabian Delph in the club bus.
John Terry
Has there ever been a more derided Premier League player than John Terry?
Captain. Leader. Legend.
We suspect Anton Ferdinand wouldn’t agree.
Or Rio.
Or Wayne Bridge.
Or the official tour guides at Wembley Stadium.
Mike Ashley
While the Premier League wouldn’t be the Premier League without a dysfunctional Newcastle United, we think the furore has gone on for a little too long.
The laughter stopped when Ashley released Ryan Taylor by phone call (or at least asked John Carver to do his bidding), before asking perennially-injured full-back to pass the phone to cancer-recover Jonas Gutierrez for an identical message of woe.
You can’t buy class…
Mario Balotelli
At first, we all had a larff where Mario was concerned.
He was one of us. Ambling into a woman’s prison, helping a poor boy who was being bullied, setting off fireworks in his bedroom.
The ‘why always me?’ t-shirt was a charming touch, and will feature in EPL highlight reels for years to come.
But the novelty’s worn off a bit now, hasn’t it? Maybe if he scored a few goals…or even one…just one…we’d be a little more forgiving.
Diego Costa
Everyone loves a tenacious, tigerish striker, hunting every ball, chasing defenders, snapping at their heels, gnashing at goalkeepers.
The line has to be drawn though, and Diego ‘street-fight’ Costa takes the bullish forward a little too far for our living.
The petulance, the diving, the harping at referees, a foot left in on a goalkeeper here, an elbow to a defender’s head there.
Grow up.