Opinion: Even kinky Van Gaal’s ‘only sex’ defence can’t save Manchester United disgrace from ban

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Louis van Gaal has delivered a bizarre defence of Manchester United midfielder Marouane Fellaini after the Belgian international appeared to elbow Robert Huth on Saturday, but it’s unlikely to save the midfielder from a suspension.

The Red Devils managed a 1-1 draw with Leicester City at Old Trafford, and while the contest was thrilling, with both sides having chances to win, the flashpoint between Huth and Fellaini merited considerable attention in van Gaal’s post-match press conference.

Speaking to BBC Sport, the Dutch coach—who has been responsible for a fair few controversial comments this season—defended Fellaini, arguing that Huth had been pulling his hair in an inappropriate manner before he lashed out.

“When I grab you by the hair, what are you doing? Shall I do it? It’s also a penalty,” van Gaal told the BBC’s reporter, as he attempted to re-enact the pair’s tussle. “When I grab your hair, you react also. I know for sure.”

The BBC then asked van Gaal whether Fellaini deserved a yellow card: “No, I don’t think so. It’s not in the books that someone has to grab by the hair and then pull it behind – only in sex masochism.”

In light of the Football Association’s decision to retroactively punish Dele Alli following his punch on Claudio Yacob in Tottenham Hotspur’s draw with West Bromwich Albion on Monday, it would be little surprise if Fellaini was also punished in a similar manner.

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The draw leaves the Red Devils in fifth, four points behind Manchester City in fourth, while Leicester need just two points to guarantee the title, although any Spurs slip up would automatically secure the title for the Foxes.

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