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Romanian player shatters transfer record

In a stunning turn of events, Romanian club UT Arad sold defender Marius Cioara in exchange for 15 kilograms of meat – shattering the previous record of 3 sacks of back hair*.

Unfortunately for his new side, Regal Horia, the player then promptly decided to retire and bugger off to Spain to find a job in agriculture or construction.

“We are upset because we lost twice — firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team’s food for a whole week,” a Regal Horia official was quoted as saying.

And to think some say Chelsea pay over the odds for players…

*Lies.