Owen To Become Cyborg

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We thought Michael Owen’s constant injuries would rob him of his career, but the Newcastle and former Liverpool striker has revealed it’s all part of a scheme to make him even better. Currently off in the US somewhere seeing that Steadman bloke about his knee, Mickey O’s had some encouraging words,

“I want to be back to what I’ve been for the last 10 years,” he told the Daily Mirror.

“Twenty years ago if you had this injury you were finished, but now it’s a 99% success rate.”

“Obviously I want this right for the rest of my career and that is the most important thing.”

“But the plus side is that with the extra strength the operation will give me, I could get another couple of years added to the end of my career.”

Fantastic, Owen will have a few more years to tacked onto the end of his football career in which to stumble about, robbed of his pace.