Only More Craziness Can Save West Ham

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Ever watched someone slowly descend into madness? Effra shows us how its done as West Ham continue to wreak havoc with innocent lives.

So Carroll is still in goal, the gods are still mightily pissed with us, the threat of Premiership points deduction now looms for the club’s pact with that footballing devil Joorabchian, Alan Pardew’s ghost haunts Upton Park, and the tide of discontent against Curbishley has indeed turned to open fury on the message boards.

In any season that was readily comprehendible, it would be preposterous for the Board to think about sacking Curbishley. But so far has the West Ham story this season departed from what are taken to be football’s conventional wisdoms that normal common sense can no longer apply.

Of course, Curbishley objectively deserves more time, and, of course, nobody can hold him accountable for two players in a week getting injured on their debuts. But it is increasingly hard to deny that he has become part of the problem and that his particular character does not appear suited to the demands of managing West Ham at this moment in time.

Even if we’re going down, we have to do it with passion and style, and that isn’t compatible with a manager who when 2-0 down at home has the back-four sitting deep passing the ball between themselves, and waits until the 75th minute to make substitutions. That Pardew, whatever his screw-ups and his share of the responsibility for our fate, has shown the qualities required when he was our manager and is doing so again at Charlton makes slumping into the world of Curbishley’s stubborn, weary listlessness even harder to take.

Mad as it is, there is one last fantasy to hold on to: the Ice man wields his pick again, and calls once more for the temporary services of Sir Trevor. Maybe it is too late for heroes, even the most magnificent, and maybe the footballing gods can never be appeased this season for the club’s hubris, but with the last games to go we would still be there with a shout and if it weren’t enough, like last time we’d go down still somehow, after all the agonies, believing that we are West Ham and proud of it.