Latest Transfer Rumours: Bramble, Smith, Trezeguet, Downing, Toure and Fowler

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The world of Premiership transfer rumours is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Here’s our opinion on some of that more interesting nonsense… and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.

Glenn Roeder says Titus Bramble will be offered a new deal at Newcastle, and he wants to keep working with the clumsy big central defender.

CaughtOffside Says: Besides inducing projectile vomiting all across the north, it’s conclusive evidence that Titus has some horrible photographic evidence of Bobby Robson, Graeme Sounness and Glenn Roeder all indulged in some sort of illegal activity. Or he makes a really good cup of tea.

Fergie says Alan Smith has a future at Manchester United

CaughtOffside Says: Ferguson has built the most bizarre stable of strikers in Premiership history. Potentially the best player in the world in Rooney, a fake sort of Didier Drogba in Louis Saha, incredibly old but still effective veterans in Larsson and Solsjkaer, much-talked about but so far kinda crap in Giuseppe Rossi, and then Smith whose purchase was a bit weird and interrupted by a gross injury. Fernando Torres would just cap it all off nicely.

Robbie Fowler will be offered the chance to play in MLS by New England Revolution boss and fellow Liverpool legend Steve Nicol.

CaughtOffside Says: We’ve been a little disappointed by Fowler’s emotional Anfield return. Everyone knew he wasn’t the player he was, but we didn’t think he wouldn’t be the player Ade Akinbiyi was either.

Benitez is making plans for high-priced reinforcements though, and is mulling over moves for four Italy based forwards. Apparently he’s thinking about Juventus pair David Trezeguet and Valeri Bojinov, Udinese’s Vincenzo Iaquinta, and Palermo’s Amauri.

CaughtOffside Says: Money changes everything, as they say, and Benitez has shown the same fondness to rotation in his transfer policy as he does in his first eleven. Completely overhauling a strike force that’s been pretty impressive seems strange, and if we’re honest his current lot sound a lot better than those above. But hey, he did beat Barcelona so what the hell do we know.

Stewart Downing says he’s not distracted by Tottenham’s interest in his signature.

CaughtOffside Says:
Probably because he knows that Spurs are never going to sign an actual left winger. But if finally pull their finger out, Stuart Downing at 10M+ still seems silly.

Kolo Toure is trying to persuade Arsenal to sign his brother Yaya from Monaco.

CaughtOffside Says: Nepotism is always risky, unless your brother is an incredibly talented midfielder. At the right price, he’d add a nice bit of bite and strength to Arsenal’s still-lightweight midfield.