Reading Sign Rapper Akon

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Reading have started to bolster their squad ahead of next year’s campaign, securing defender Kalifa Cisse from Boavista,

“Kalifa is a 6’2″ central midfielder who has also played in defence,” Hammond told the club’s official website.

“He has real athletic ability and the technical attributes that should be well suited to the Premiership.

“Having spent time with him and his family in Portugal, we believe he will adapt quickly to life in England and his personality will fit very well with the current squad.”

Top quality stuff, we’ve never heard of him and the only reason we posted this was because we thought he looked like Akon. Although upon further inspection, he doesn’t really. Probably more like Jermaine Defoe’s brother or something, with one weird eye.