The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun andâ€¦ errâ€¦ Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.
Hereâ€™s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours weâ€™ve read in the papers and around the netâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger will make a Â£13m bid for Newcastle striker Obefemi Martins.CaughtOffside Says: Wenger’s last few star players have left right when they got around 30, which means Martins might leave the Emirates before the end of his first season.
Sven-Goran Eriksson will make Middlesbrough striker Yakubu his first signing, while Shaun Wright Philips has rejected a move from Chelsea.CaughtOffside Says: A reasonable start and, more importantly, a sign that Sven might be taking a more realistic approach to his new job by giving City some solid Premiership players before looking to storm up the table.
Barcelona are ready to make a Â£15m bid for Chelsea and England midfielder Frank Lampard.CaughtOffside Says: We doubt that Lamps will take advantage of that weird new FIFA contract clause to get out on the cheap, and we doubt even further that Chelsea would let him go. So the bid is going nowhere, unless his Catalan wife promises him some spectacular bedroom in return.
Sunderland boss Roy Keane wants Kieran Richardson from Manchester United.CaughtOffside Says: A very smart move, especially if he can cop a loan or something cheap from his old boss. Richardson did very well for West Brom when they avoided the drop a couple years ago, then looked like crap for United, so the former is probably his level. Bit of invention to go with an industrious team.
Liverpool midfielder Javier Mascherano has pleaded with Argentine international team-mate Carlos Tevez to join him at Anfield.CaughtOffside Says: Right, because that worked out SO well for them the first time. Tevez would certainly give Benitez a completely different option up front, and a player with some really nice creativity so this one makes a lot of sense.
Aston Villa will send out an Â£8m bid for West Ham’s Nigel Reo-Coker.CaughtOffside Says: Reo Coker is still leaving off one good Premiership season, but then that’s also kept plenty of other players going in the Premiership for much longer. There’s still plenty to like about NRC’s game when he’s fit and focused, and Martin O’Neill is the kind of motivator he needs to get back on track. Being made captain at your last two clubs usually says a lot about his character, more than any Hammer-fan bashing ever could.
West Ham boss Alan Curbishley is looking at Bolton’s Kevin Nolan as a possible replacement for Nigel Reo-Coker.CaughtOffside Says: Nolan joins Big Sam and Curbs himself as those in the footballing world who live off of their reputation at one club, in one system. We want to see him move just to see whether he can make the step up or if was simply reaping the benefits of an overachieving Bolton side built to let him fire home Kevin Davies’ knock downs.
Andy van der Meyde is likely to be kicked out of Everton after reportedly criticising coach David Moyes on Dutch TV.CaughtOffside Says: AVDM is a nutter. He had his dog stolen (ok, not really his fault), he drinks all the time and he is always moaning about Moyes. If this isn’t the last straw, then Andy should probably look into sleeping with Moyes’ wife, because he could probably get away with that too.
Sunderland have had a Â£3m bid for Wigan defender Leighton Baines rejected.CaughtOffside Says: Doh! First sign that Roy Keane does not always get what Roy Keane wants, although this is less about Baines and more about Nial Quinn pulling out more of that dodgy cash to throw at them. A left side of Richardson and Baines would probably be enough to give the club the edge over their relegation rivals.
Arsenal and Tottenham are battling to sign Lyn Oslo’s Norwegian striker Chinedu Ogbuke.CaughtOffside Says: Well we all know how this one is going to end.
Reading’s Nicky Shorey will snub Newcastle and West Ham by signing a new contract at the Royals.CaughtOffside Says: Two aspiring Big Clubs take a hit? With managers who have money to spend for the first time, it’s not the best sign that they’re being rejected left and right.
Nigerian international midfielder Oneykachi Okonkwo is being watched by Premier League new boys Birmingham and Derby.CaughtOffside Says: What a fantastic player. Right foot, left foot, head, tackling, defending, attacking, goalkeeping… uh… penalty taking and tremendous at throw ins.
Was it obvious we have no idea who this is?
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