The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun andâ€¦ errâ€¦ Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.
Hereâ€™s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours weâ€™ve read in the papers and around the netâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
CaughtOffside Says: Hmm, Quaresma has hit some real form the last couple seasons after looking a bit out of sorts at Barcelona. Cristiano Ronaldo comparisons are inevitable, but shelling out 14 million for him (probably in lieu of Simao) would be a proper statement of intent by the American owners to spend. Sure, Torres cost an arseload but it has the distinct feeling of a one-off “See? We’re spending.” rather than a long term commitment to hand Rafa an empty chequebook.
Sweden’s Christian Wilhelmsson will be Sven-Goran Eriksson’s first signing as Manchester City manager. The Nantes winger will cost Â£500,000.
CaughtOffside Says: And immediately the Swede is linked to other Swedes. And for 500k? Maybe it’s just because all of Sinatra’s dosh is frozen thanks to some sort of military coup in Thailand. Wilhelmsson was long chased by Spurs and looks great on YouTube, but definitely is a bit of a wildcard when it comes to the Premiership.
Manchester City and Backburn are chasing Roque Santa Cruz from Bayern Munich.
CaughtOffside Says: Santa Cruz never lived up to the hype after his performances as a teenager in the Copa America many moons ago, and this certainly wouldn’t be the sort of glamour signing most City fans are probably expecting. Mark Hughes has worked wonders with the last two strikers he picked up, Jason Roberts and Benni McCarthy, so who are we to argue?
Everton’s Phil Neville has snubbed City’s overtures so Eriksson is looking at Paul Konchesky.
CaughtOffside Says: Wow, and the galaxy of stars Sven might bring to Manchester City grows ever more impressive. In all seriousness, Phil is the sort of player they probably want to cement some Premiership stability in the short term. His experience and influence might help unite the young talent they have and whatever hordes of foreigners are due to arrive shortly. Konchesky, on the other hand…
The Swede also is also looking to snap up Man United’s Alan Smith and Kieran Richarson.
CaughtOffside Says: Now we’re starting to see a pattern. Anyone Swedish will be linked to City, and anyone who was ever remotely near the England squad at the time of Eriksson’s reign. If he selected them for England, he must want to buy them – get it?
Newcastle’s Mike Ashley wants Raul and Deco at St. James’ Park.
CaughtOffside Says: Raul would be terrible, but Deco would be a spectacular coup. With Henry arriving at the Nou Camp you get the feeling that one of the club’s long list of attacking talent would have to give way and Deco is probably the least spectacular (although one of the most effective) and least Spanish/Catalan. If Ashley can attract the Brazilian/Portugese bloke to town, it would really give Allardyce’s overhaul some meat. But convincing someone to move from sunny Barcelona to not-at-all-sunny Newcastle won’t be easy.
Tottenham are still keen on Chelsea’s Shaun Wright-Phillips.
CaughtOffside Says: Really? Why!? Well, we suppose if Spurs continue their commitment to create intense competition at every position then the wings are still a bit light. Steed Malbranque, Aaron Lennon and Teemu Tainio can all put some time in there (and new boy Gareth Bale) but SWP would give them all a run for their money.
Lyon’s Florent Malouda has sealed his move to the Blues which means Arjen Robben can join Real Madrid.
CaughtOffside Says: Malouda is a more all round player than Robben, which will please Mourinho, and he can probably stay fit for longer than 3 matches. Though for all his diving we’ll miss watching someone as talented as Arjen… and as prematurely bald.
Wigan are about to sign West Brom’s Jason Koumas, West Ham’s Marlon Harewood and Fulham captain Michael Brown.
CaughtOffside Says: As terrible as those players are, they are the kind of solid Premiership players who will give Wigan a proper chance at staying up again next year. Koumas has been inconsistent for his whole career but always threatened to make the step up, this is his chance and if he shines then this trio could be looked upon as a turning point for whoever that bloke was that replaced Paul Jewell.
Arsenal will finally complete a Â£7.5m deal for Auxerre defender Bakary Sagna this week.
CaughtOffside Says: Finally! We can’t wait to see another bloke we’ve never heard of in action. Just kidding, we saw him in Europe and he looked pretty good. But Wenger’s continual devotion to more low-profile players will come to head this season, another year of inconsistency borne out of inexperience will be tough to handle.