The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun andâ€¦ errâ€¦ Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.
Hereâ€™s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours weâ€™ve read in the papers and around the netâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
CaughtOffside Says: Why does any team think they will be able to keep Kieron Dyer healthy enough to a worthwhile signing? You’d have to be loaded with cash so that any investment you make in him isn’t at the cost of another, more reliable, player. So… City or West Ham it is then.
Sven-Goran Eriksson has enquired about West Brom’s Â£9m-rated centre-back Curtis Davies.
CaughtOffside Says: Uh oh. First they pip Tottenham to Martin Petrov, and now they’re looking to usurp their hold over Curtis Davies rumours. City will probably get him again as we can’t imagine Spurs will throw any kind of big money at a 19th centreback.
Eriksson also looked into signing Juventus’ full-back Giorgio Chiellini, Nantes midfielder Emerse Fae and Olympiakos striker Nery Castillo.
CaughtOffside Says: We thought Sven said he was going to try and work on some bringing in some British talent? Surely Sven has managed to scout a few decent ones during his time at England coach, unless he just sat there watching big matches all the time and scouting players who he had never dropped or even considered replacing. What? Oh…
Manchester United expect Carlos Tevez to have signed for them in time for the opening game of the season.
CaughtOffside Says: Nice, although if there’s one thing we’ve learned from anything Tevez-related its that what the club wants doesn’t mean squat. Crazy international labour laws and alleged crime syndicates will dictate this saga.
Aston Villa are ready to rival Everton for Manchester United’s England striker Alan Smith.
CaughtOffside Says: Smithy is right up O’Neill and Moyesy’s alley, not literally of course. But a hard-working centre forward with a good sense of team play is a favourite – goals optional. But for some reason we reckon Smith will still be in a United shirt come the new season.
Sir Alex may let Mikael Silvestre leave following a Â£3m offer from Lyon.
CaughtOffside Says: With Heinze’s future up in the air, we just don’t see Fergie letting a tried and tested, versatile performer like Mikael go. BOLLOCKS.
Bayern Munich have allowed Roque Santa Cruz to talk to Blackburn over a 4.5 million move.
CaughtOffside Says: With Roberts, Cruz, and McCarthy on board Mark Hughes will have one of the most robust centreforward lines in the Premiership. At one point in his career, Cruz was singled out as having the potential to be a world beater so if Marky Mark can work his magic one just one more striker then Blackburn may have the firepower they need to claim another UEFA cup place.
Middlesbrough are preparing to revive their interest in Spurs striker Mido after he rejected Birmingham.
CaughtOffside Says: A really good fit, for Boro anyway. They’ve got the money to throw at Mido and a need for goals with Viduka gone and Yakubu looking iffy to stay. With Downing crossing for Mido, Boro would have the kind of threat that Spurs were hoping to create by signing the England winger.
Sheffield United will make a Â£4m bid for Everton striker James Beattie.
CaughtOffside Says: Oh how the mighty have fallen, and they are far too fat to get up. We reckon Beatts’ time has come and gone, and 4 million sounds like a bit of a rip.
Derby boss Billy Davies has offered Patrick Kluivert a trial at Pride Park.
CaughtOffside Says: Kluivert still plays!? Bit of a lazy bastard, but if he can be bothered he could have the kind of Christophe Dugarry-type effect and bring some class to a hardworking promoted side to help them stay up.
Wolves, Charlton and West Brom are tracking Spurs’ Â£1m defender Phil Ifil.
CaughtOffside Says: Despite never ever playing, Martin Jol and the Spurs coaching staff have always had nice things to say about Ifil and the most optimistic of fans still think he’ll develop. Something just hasn’t gone right for the lad so maybe a change of scenery will be best.
Bolton chairman Phil Gartside wants Â£13m for Nicolas Anelka, with West Ham interested.
CaughtOffside Says: 13 million! Although that really isn’t that bad for a very proven Premiership striker, you know you’ll get goals and top class performances so we really wouldn’t be shocked to see West Ham step in here. At times this summer it seems like they were trying to buy anyone who would come, but this would actually be a great move. Anelka and Bellamy would be more than a handful for any defense.