The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun andâ€¦ errâ€¦ Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.
Hereâ€™s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours weâ€™ve read in the papers and around the netâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
CaughtOffside Says: Tremendous, definitely the transfer story of the summer.
Chelsea midfielder Lassana Diarra looks poised for a move to Arsenal having rejected a new three year contract.
CaughtOffside Says: Diarra has been called the “Next Makelele” for ages and does look a tidy player, he wouldn’t really help Arsenal with any size issues in the centre of midfield but between Gilberto, Fabregas, Diaby and Diarra they’d have a very solid core. He can play right-back too, so that’s always fun.
Everton are on the brink of landing Porto midfielder Luis Gonzalez for Â£10m and Wigan left-back Leighton Baines for around Â£8m.
CaughtOffside Says: Everton about to spend 10 million? Hahah that’s about as likely as them spending 8 million on a left-back who supported their club as a boy. Hahaha!
Manchester United defender Gabriel Heinze will tell boss Sir Alex Ferguson on Monday he wants to leave for Liverpool.
CaughtOffside Says: Too bad “Gabby”, Sir Alex has tabbed you to become the “Next David May”. That means you have to carry Gary Neville’s disposable underwear on away trips and you don’t even get to hold up the Community Shield if you win it.
Middlesbrough will allow Yakubu to return to Portsmouth if they can get Gary O’Neill in return.
CaughtOffside Says: Yakubu remains one of the better goalscorers in the Premiership even if his team-play is as good as something that’s crap at team-play. O’Neill is too inconsistent to care about, so he’d fit in at Boro.
Sunderland boss Roy Keane will try again to sign Manchester United keeper Tomasz Kuszczak.
CaughtOffside Says: He might have a shot too, Ferguson is as loyal to his goalkeepers as he is to the last glass of Scotch he had – he moves on to the next as soon as possible, ZING! But with Ben Foster returning to Old Trafford, Tomaxifh Kukzcjevic could be surplus to requirements. Although is there really a difference between 2nd choice and 3rd choice keeper? You play 3 times a year either way.
Kieron Dyer’s move to West Ham dramatically collapsed last night after Newcastle demanded an extra Â£2m.
CaughtOffside Says: Sounds like Newcastle learned a thing or two from the Manchester City-Barton debacle.
Barcelona striker Eidur Gudjohnsen has denied reports linking him with a move to West Ham.
CaughtOffside Says: Oops, one of the few Hammer transfers that seem like a good idea has fallen through. Next up? Jason Roberts for 14 million.
Andy Cole has left Pompey after they agreed to pay up the remaining 11 months of his Â£30,000-a-week contract.
CaughtOffside Says: Is having him around SO bad that you have to pay over a quarter million pounds just so you don’t have to look at his face every day? Footballer’s sure do have it hard.