The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun andâ€¦ errâ€¦ Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.
Hereâ€™s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours weâ€™ve read in the papers and around the netâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
CaughtOffside Says: That makes no sense at all, since Chelsea need SWP now that Robben is gone and a player like Defoe doesn’t really fit in with any of Mourinho’s preferred tactics. So… ok then.
West Ham will have to up their bid to Â£6m if they want to land Reading left-back Nicky Shorey.
CaughtOffside Says: And they will. And then he will get injuerd.
Manchester City and West Ham will have to splash out Â£12m to sign Adriano from inter Milan with the player not keen on a loan move. They are also after Nicolas Anelka and Thiago Motta from Barcelona.
CaughtOffside Says: Oh Sven, you crazy Swede. For some reason we feel like Adriano would do really well under Sven, who seems like he can get some results out of maligned players with his mellow persona and weird Dracula haircut. But it’s a bit of a risk, as the Brazilian has been a lazy chufter for a couple years now.
Manchester United are planning a Â£22m bid for Tottenham striker Dimitar Berbatov but Spurs will want Â£40m, which may force Sir Alex to compete with Man City for Nicolas Anelka.
CaughtOffside Says: United won’t get Berbatov this season, there’s not much doubt about that. But they almost certainly will next year if Spurs don’t qualify for the Champions League. Anelka would make a great signing and we for some reason we think Sir Alex will go for some kind of aging Larsson/Solksjaer type rather than splash the cash in panic.
Fulham boss Lawrie Sanchez has tested Blackburn’s resolve with a Â£4m bid for striker Jason Roberts.
CaughtOffside Says: And his fans’ patience…
Middlesbrough will shelve moves for Heerenveen’s Afonso Alves and Adriano as they switch their attentions to Manchester City striker Georgios Samaras.
CaughtOffside Says: Samaras, Mido and Tuncay in the box as targets would be a Stuart Downing wet dream, which is probably the point.
Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce wants funds to buy Chelsea right-back Glen Johnson.
CaughtOffside Says: We really thought that Mike Ashley’s money plus Sam Allardyce’s ability to convince star players to sign for Bolton (Hierro, Campo, Anelka, Diouf) would result in some big signings for Newcastle. But so far it’s just all been a bit disappointing on and off the pitch.
Unsettled Celtic midfielder Thomas Gravesen is poised for a season-long loan deal with Manchester City.
CaughtOffside Says: A smart move by Sven, Gravesen’s Premier League experience and ability to dictate match tempo will mean that – between he and Hamann – City will have an engine room good enough to control most games.