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Liverpool Manager Devastated By Scathing Insults

Rafa Benitez has hit back at Sam Allardyce’ claims that the Spaniard would have a job right now if it wasn’t for his European successes.

Clearly crying all over his keyboard as he typed, Rafa gave a two part lecture on the folly of Allardyce’s comments to the Liverpool club website. Rafa appears to have gone all defensive over Big Sam’s allegations which is a bit odd, you’d think someone in his position would at least be confident enough not to get riled up? Maybe Rafa is just upset that his old sparring partner at Chelsea has left him to feud for himself and is looking to take on the all comers. Benitez-Mourinho was shaping up to be a fantastic managerial battle for the ages but now it’s all gone to hell, leaving us with Benitez vs some guy whose greatest claim to fame is being a significantly better manager than Sammy Lee.

Rafa said :

“Firstly, I think he should be more worried about his own business because he must have more problems than to waste time talking about other managers.”

Rafa clearly can’t comprehend the idea of an opposition manager having any spare time to jot down some bon mots and clever cusses, Big Sam has all the time in the world however. One look at the Toon squad told Sam that all he had to do was put his feet up and watch his team slowly and inexorably float up the league table.

Rafa then offered his second half saying:

“Secondly, has he forgotten Liverpool winning the Super Cup, FA Cup and Champions League as well as reaching another Champions League final, a Carling Cup final and twice finishing third in the Premier League?”

Rafa paused for applause, and then added, (in what is quite frankly a truly knock out blow): “Maybe he doesn’t have a great memory.”

Zing!!