Chelsea Boss Is Officially Declared Fit To be Chelsea boss

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The Daily Mail is today reporting that Avram Grant is set to finally become qualified to manage in the Premier League! The wild and raucous celebrations in Stamford Bridge could be heard for miles and locals haven’t seen such joyous happiness since Chelsea won the title. Grant held lengthy talks with Israel Football president Avi Luzon yesterday and was told that UEFA had sanctioned an initiative that will lead to around a dozen Israeli coaches attending the course.

Grant will now team up with Henk Ten Cate, who has something of a reputation for being a anger-ridden phsyco – so Abramovich has now added someone in dire need of anger management as assistant manager, to Avram Grant – the Mr Bean of football. This combo wont be so much good cop – bad cop , more like crap cop – loon cop.

And what better way to celebrate finally becoming licensed than sanctioning the sale of possibly your most influential midfielder? The Times is reporting that although Steve McClaren isn’t listening to the boo boys over Frank Lampard, Avram Grant is, after all there isn’t any smoke without fire right? The Spanish AS sports newspaper, according to The Times, is saying that Grant is prepared to let Lampard buy out the remainder of his contract and seek pastures new. Lampard would cost any potential suitors around £12.5 million (or £1 million more than Yakubu) quoting unnamed sources close to Frank Lampard. Three clubs, Juventus, AC Milan, and Real Madrid have already registered their interest and had a chat with Lampard’s agent Steve Kutner.