Jewell Would rather gnaw at his Genitalia Than Take Over At Wigan

Wigan owner-chairman Dave Whelan is now at a new low, after running the rule over a motley crew of sheisters and neerdowells, he was left with one name on his list of potential managers…a certain Mr Paul Jewell. Jewell, according to the Daily Mail, wants to continue his sabbatical from football and when offered the Wigan job fired a big fat rejection back to Whelan.
This now leaves Whelan with no option to go back to the fiends of football that were on his original list, such relegation specialists superstars as Graeme Souness (too tough), Joe Royle (too old) , Iain Dowie (too ugly) and Steve Bruce (to moany) – honestly, things couldn’t get more desperate if Whelan added Big Ron Atkinson and John Fashanu to his list.

Is this really the best that Wigan can hope for, or there a White Knight ready to waltz in and save them?