TRANSFER RUMOURS Part 1: Arsenal, Aston Villa, Bolton, Chelsea, Derby, Liverpool, Manchester City, Newcastle, Tottenham.

Today’s first batch of rumours is a heady brew of potent guff and noxious waffle.

Bundesliga’s Wolfsburg are ready and waiting to bag Jens Lehmann and rid Arsenal of the German’s interminable moans.(Mirror)

…Whilse bovine teammate Philippe Senderos won’t have to face a cull until next summer, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will delay sending the Swiss defender to the abattoir, as he’ll be needed as cover for Kolo Toure during the African Nations Cup. (Daily Mail)

Three French clubs, Monaco, Auxerre and Marseille, are forming an orderly queue, patiently waiting for a chance to take Younes Kaboul on loan, and try and rebuild his confidence after his harrowing experiences in the centre of the Tottenham defensive maelstrom. (Mirror)

Liverpool gaffer Rafa Benitez has sensibly laid down the law with regards to his red boys’ sleeping patterns; he doesn’t want any secret late-night viewing sessions of the Hatton-Mayweather fight, as The Times reports that Rafa could be again accused of “megalomania”. (Various)

Manchester City manager Sven-Goran Eriksson is preparing to save Mickey Owen from his Newcastle injury turmoil by taking the England striker and his gammy groin and lovingly nursing it back to health. (Various)

Ex- Derby boss Billy Davies’ time in the footballing wilderness will be short lived, with Cardiff trying to woo him as they contemplate giving Dave Jones the boot. (Various)

…And in the world of international management the FA bigwigs have finally pulled their fingers out and are contacting Mourinho about the vacant England hot seat. (BBC)

Chelsea reckons that they’ll be able to bag Nic Anelka in the January transfer window to fill the large Didier Drogba sized hole that may be around in the new year. (Star)

Magnanimous Celtic are giving prodigal son Shaun Maloney the chance to leave Aston Villa and return to the warm embrace of Parkhead,some tepid Scottish football and sub-zero temperatures. (Daily Mail)