Much press has been given to the likes of Jermain Defoe and Peter Crouch as they seek to earn a starting place with their respective clubs, but generally neither has had much success.
So what options are there for such victims of circumstance and/or crapness? Mr Naive, Peter Crouch ignored the huge buzzing banshee warning bells in his head and thought it would be a good idea to go and tell the press about his frustrations. Bucktoothed legend Pierre Van Hooidonk decided to go on strike and West Ham loon Marco Boogers decamped to a Dutch caravan park when things were going wrong for him. All these methods are obviously not the preserve of people with stable minds.
However, if you want to spice things up a bit and try thinking outside the box in your attempts to get your own way you could try the method that Patty from California is using. In an online ‘petition’ she is trying to convince MLS ‘club’ Chivas to give her boyfriend another chance. The petition is entitled Please Help Me Get My Boyfriend Back! , her boyfriend had been injured and summarily moved to an even more crapulous team, the California Victory. And now she has launched a petition to get him back.
Getting your bird to fight the fight for you isn’t a bad idea, although in Crouch’s case we think that maybe offering get his page 3 bird to get her tits out for Rafa if he plays him might work better.