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Tottenham’s Transfers Activity Surprises No One

Lucas takes a quick look at what Spurs have been doing on their holidays.

With the transfer window opening up again, I’m going to look at who Spurs should be bringing in, and who, as before, should just f**k right off. Unlike Liverpool, Tottenham are one of those clubs who have about 9 months of rumours linking them to a player before they sign them, so it’s a little hard to spring any surprises. Let’s see who’s on the menu:

Confirmed In:

Younes Kaboul, Auxerre- The French Under-21 captain, he should at least provide decent cover for Ledley King and Michael Dawson. We appear to have thrown about seven million pounds at Auxerre, so you’ve got to think he’s going to get some playing time. Apparently, though, the Auxerre fans don’t seem to mind very much, which does lead to a little bit of worrying- if we’re looking for a clumsy jackass, we could get Titus Bramble for much less.

Gareth Bale, Southampton- We’d been after him for awhile, finally outbidding Manchester United for the Welsh International left-back. My only question is, how will Spurs fare with Donkey Kong marauding up the left side? Sure, he’s unbelievably strong, but what about his speed? And if somebody fouls him, will he just start throwing barrels around the pitch? I wonder.

Possible In:

Darren Bent, Charlton – He apparently only wants to play for Spurs, which is very convenient as we want him. But the question, I suppose, is whether we want him at Charlton’s asking price. Will we go up to twelve million? I do hope we don’t lowball ourselves out of a quality striker. If he does come, not only could we have two ridiculous strike partnerships- Berbatov and Keane, Defoe and Bent- we would finally have a pure, pure finisher on the roster. On the offensive end, the difference between fifth and fourth, or progress in the cups, was a couple of missed chances.

Morten Gamst Pedersen, Blackburn- We really want him- he doesn’t really want to come. I haven’t seen him play a huge amount, but I’ve liked what I have seen- he’s got a fantastic left foot, and quite frankly even if he had no left foot at all he’d probably be an upgrade to Hossam Ghaly on the left.

Luis Figo – He may think he’s already turned us down but, still. Holy sh*t. Luis Figo? I haven’t been this hard since 2003. Sure, he’s old, and sure, he might want a little bit more per week than we usually pay, but come ON. If the man is good enough to get into the Inter Milan first team if healthy, I’m pretty sure he could play for us.

Possible Out-

Mido- F*CK OFF! F*CK OFF! F*CK OFF! That is all.

Danny Murphy- He was injured for most of the season, and when he did play, he didn’t really… do anything. Just not good enough at this point.
Pascal Chimbonda- Apparently, Chelsea have offered ten million for him. I like him as a player, but do Spurs like him as ten million pounds in their pocket? We’ll see.

In reality, we’ve done well so far and as long as we aren’t relying on anyone called Mido next season our squad is good enough to challenge for that 4th spot.