Liverpool “legend” heads to Fulham; Middlesbrough sweat on £8m Brazilian

More from the crazy finale to Silly Season as throws us a roundup of the latest transfer gossip.

Please, someone, put us out of our transfer-window, pain. Here we are, feeding on pathetic morsels such as the greatest ever Finnish striker joining Fulham … you must remember Jari Litmanen, once of Liverpool? And Malmo and FC Lahti and Hansa Rostock and MyPa. He’s also played for the half-decent Ajax and Barcelona. But he’ll be 37 years old in three weeks time. Old enough to be Theo Walcott’s grandMyPa.

He’s even more geriatric than Alan Stubbs, who has left Everton for Derby County this afternoon. Surely Afonso Alves is going to give us something to chew on by joining Middlesbrough from Dutch club Heerenveen any minute now for £8m – the Brazilian has apparently been granted a work permit so it’s just a matter of how much moolah he can squeeze out of Riverside supremo Steve Gibson.

But what the hell is going on at Newcastle? Has anybody told Kevin Keegan that it’s deadline day? Doesn’t he realise that Michael Owen and Alan Smith just don’t cut it any more. Hang on … STOP PRESS from Tyneside – 6ft 3in teenage striker Fabio Zamblera has arrived at St James’ Park from Italian club Atalanta to discuss terms.

And one more bit of almost real transfer action – Charlton have signed Sunderland defender Greg Halford on loan until the end of the season with Andy Reid expected to go to the Stadium of Light for £4.5m.

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