Premier League: The Hateful Eight – Featuring Jose Mourinho, Raheem Sterling and John Terry

Mario Balotelli

At first, we all had a larff where Mario was concerned.

He was one of us. Ambling into a woman’s prison, helping a poor boy who was being bullied, setting off fireworks in his bedroom.

The ‘why always me?’ t-shirt was a charming touch, and will feature in EPL highlight reels for years to come.

But the novelty’s worn off a bit now, hasn’t it? Maybe if he scored a few goals…or even one…just one…we’d be a little more forgiving.